Arguing with our partners is never fun, but it is, unfortunately, an inevitable part of life. Whether it's over bills or bedtimes habits or something else, a spat is bound to break out every now and then.

 

However, there's one three-letter word that could make those fights even worse, psychotherapist Katherine Schafler says.

 

And what is this terrible word? 'But'.

 

"Using but in a sentence generally serves to negate or distil all the positive statements you made before it," Katherine wrote in Business Insider.

 

 

For example, if your partner says 'I care about you, but I'm finding this situation really difficult', you may start to question how much they actually care for you.

 

She further explained that when we hear the word 'but', our brains translate it to 'here's the catch'.

 

Then we start to go on the defensive and shut ourselves off from possible solutions, doubting whether our partner really believes any of the positive statements they shared.

 

 

The word 'but' creates distance between ourselves and our partners, which makes finding peace difficult.

 

Luckily, Katherine's got an easy fix for this tricky word - and it's another one that's just three letters long!

 

Replace 'but' with 'and' so you can still make your points, but without implying that you are disregarding positive statements.

 

So here's to more 'ands', fewer 'buts', and hopefully shorter arguments!

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