Once you see it, you can never unsee it!
The Stones, Led Zeppelin, INXS – you might not have previously thought these big rock bands would have anything in common with our sweet and innocent (ahem!) chubby-cheeked toddlers. But when you think about it, aren’t toddlers basically the exact same as rock stars? Aren’t the terrible twos akin to Guns n’ Roses 1989 ‘Appetite for Destruction’ world tour? Sure the even the name gives it away!
Hear us out. Here are 10 (very convincing reasons) that your toddler is in fact a rock star. Or that rock stars are in fact toddlers. Either way it’s hard to argue…
1. They have an appetite for destruction
Yep, like Axel Rose and his ilk, our toddle tots basically want to sit back and watch the world burn. Just like rock stars throwing tellies out of hotel room windows, our toddlers have a penchant for breaking things, throwing things, destroying everything we have ever owned.
2. They like the ‘bottle’
Okay, while rock stars party hardy, bottles of whiskey clutched in their fists, our toddlers won’t go anywhere without their sippy cup. And just like rock stars, they tend to wave them around erratically, spilling the liquid all over their face and clothes.
3. They have groupies
Also known as us, their mums. Think about it, we follow them around wherever they go, basking in their love and affection. Anything they want us to do, we do it for them. Godammit, we’re total toddler groupies.
4. They’ll put anything in their mouths
Hello, you HAVE heard of Ozzy Osbourne and the bat incident right?
5. They’ve shaggy, long hair
Only because we don’t want to cut our babies’ curls. Sob, whimper.
6. They’re carted everywhere on wheels
For rock stars it’s tour buses or chauffeurs, for toddlers it’s prams or people carriers. Either way they’re both transported in style and comfort wherever they go. Not a bad life eh?
7. They’ve been married many times
How many playground marriages have we seen our toddlers engage in? “Mum I married Amy today and I’m going to marry Sophie tomorrow and Ava the next day!” Commitment just ain’t their thing.
8. They’re VERY fussy
Rock stars are well known for their fussy demands. The White Stripe’s Jack White recently asked for homemade guacamole waiting for him backstage. And in case no one knew what he meant, he included a recipe with the instructions, “Be careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. After the guacamole is “properly mixed and tested,” the avocado pits are to be added to the dip, the surface of which then needs to be evened out with a spoon or spatula.” Remind you of anyone? Yes, your toddler!
9. They break their toys
Just like rock stars smashing their guitars on-stage, our curious toddlers are just dying to know what would happen if they threw their Thomas the Tank Engine against the wall.
10. They love music
Perhaps the most obvious comparison, our toddlers like to shake their tushies and sing every time a song comes on. At least it keeps them (both!) out of trouble eh?
Can you relate to this mums? Is your toddler just like a rock star? Why? We’d love to hear your experiences!
