It is nice to be nice, isn't it? But when it comes to teaching your children how to interact with the world around them,  it is not always a smooth ride.

 

We say please and thank you in our house...most of the time.

 

Except when I tell the children to "Put that down and get into that bath IMMEDIATELY!" At that stage, I don't feel like asking nicely. Mummy feels more like a large mojito and a foot rub. As parents, we strive to raise well-mannered children. But uttering the words "what do we say" 27 billion times a day does get pretty tiresome.

 

Here are some simple tried and tested solutions for getting your manners to stick to your children:

 

1. Giving Out


I'm sure I sound just like one long noise when I am lecturing my children about table manners or eye contact. This is a phenomenon some mums refer to as 'the nag factor.' So although we have to be consistent with our message, our mummy panel agree you should choose your battle, make sure it's a calm, quiet time of the day (ha!) and be sure to explain your reasons WHY it is a better idea to suck the straw with your mouth rather than your nose.

 

2. Listen


Your son may have snatched a toy off his little friend, and although this behaviour isn't allowed, it may be useful to find out WHY it came to this. Often there are reasons why your child will want to justify their behaviour. Use the time to empathise with them and let them know that although we can deal with something in a different way, you understand their frustration.

 

3. Praise be!


I know it's hard to listen to disgusting eating noises at the table, but IGNORING bad manners and REWARDING your kids when they do the right thing is shown to work much better than nagging non-stop. Bad table manners can often be a way of attention seeking so restrain yourselves where possible. The medal is in the post, mums. 

 

 

4. Preparation is key


Talking my kids through a situation first, works better in our house. So if Auntie is coming over with a birthday gift, I will talk them through what I would expect to happen and NOT to happen. As in, don't screech "WHERE IS MY PRESENT?" as they walk into the house, don't shout "it's too small" when you see the wrapped gift and don't throw it back in her face in disgust when you discover it not a puppy. Simples. Every day is a learning day!

 

5. Sow the seeds


Although repeating 'say thank you' a hundred times a day wrecks EVERYONE'S head, it does eventually work. But do not forget that watching and learning from you, the parent, is what REALLY makes it stick. Get them to colour a thank you card after they receive a gift (even if it is not a puppy) and gently remind them to respect the belongings of others when out and about.

 

Teaching good manners is definitely one of the hardest responsibilities of parenting. The way your children behave is such a strong reflection on your own values. But bear with it mama, and soon you will have your very own little etiquette superstar.

 

Oh, and thank you for reading this post. 

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