Both my pregnancies could probably be classed as standard and smooth going. Having said that I found it much harder second time around. Sometimes we think because we've gone through something before it shouldn't be as big a deal and that we should be able to handle it better this time.
Everyone talks about your body being 'prepared' for the second baby, because you've done it once already but that means the bump gets bigger sooner and aches and sleepless nights kick in more quickly. And, if it is your second (or third, or fourth etc) child then you've got one or more at home to look after, alongside whatever pregnancy symptoms you have. The inherent giddiness I had for my first pregnancy, excited at everything (yes, even the nausea) because of what it meant and how new it was, was replaced with a impatience to get to the destination which made the journey difficult.
Similarly, the birth is supposed to be much easier second time around. If I compare my birth stories, I suppose it was true. My daughter's delivery was much more straightforward than my son's, which had many interventions and left us both scraped and bruised. But being easier doesn't mean it's easy. On my daughter, I found out from conversations afterwards that I was close to an episiotomy and a section at different points, so while I managed the delivery in the end, it was still difficult for both the baby and I.
When my son was born he wasn't handed to me. He was urgently carted off to the table at the other end of the room. I had to sit and wait to see if he would be OK. When he was eventually brought back to me I started shaking as my worry gave way to shock after such a difficult delivery. My daughter was handed to me straight away and, because of my first experience, it caught me off guard and I was hit with so many other conflicting emotions: the surprise of her being handed to me, relief as I realised what that meant, joy of finally meeting her, pride in getting her here safely, upset and guilt it hadn't been that way for my son.
My son latched straight away and fed like a trooper. He was back above his birth weight 3 days after getting back from the hospital. Aside from some teething issues (literally) I had no trouble with our breastfeeding journey and didn't foresee any problems second time around, now that I had 'experience'. That was a mistake! My little girl struggled to latch and took so long to produce a wet nappy that 'a small bit of formula' kept being suggested to make sure everything was alright. It really shook my confidence but some research, three weigh in checks and many worrisome green nappies later she was finally 1kg heavier than her birth weight and, while it's not something I ever I thought I would be saying about poop, her nappies returned to being 'lovely and mustard' again!!
I suppose the point is every pregnancy, every birth story and every baby is different. Just because you're not a first time mother, doesn't mean it's not the first time facing a certain problem. It can still be new, it can still be hard... And that's OK.
