If you watch anything today we suggest you sit back with a cuppa and watch Trista Sutter’s TED Talk ‘The Value of YOU’.
In the incredibly empowering talk Trista, who was once on US reality show The Bachelorette, talks about her lack of self-worth – how, as a stay-at-home mum she viewed herself and unimportant, less than.
Even when it came to preparing her TED Talk she felt like an imposter – here she was with the scientists and great thinkers of today – what had she done to deserve sharing a stage with them?
As she said to them self-deprecatingly: “I wish my life had been as meaningful as yours, but really, I’m known for handing out roses on the first series of a reality show called The Bachelorette – and now, I’m just a mom.”
Her demons told her she wasn’t good enough, she wasn’t important enough and she wasn’t worthy.
She recalled a conversation where she asked her young son what he wanted to be when he grew up, and he responded – “I want to be like you mom, I want to do nothing.”
And initially, her demons made her go on the defensive – “How can he say I do nothing? Just like all the other hardworking moms I know I spend my days picking up this, putting that away, cooking , cleaning, planning, sending, paying, driving and anything else necessary to help keep a roof over my family’s heads, food in their bellies and smiles on their faces.”
However, after some reflection she took her son’s comments as praise – he looked at her and saw that as a mom she was happy and fulfilled.
She realised she should be proud of being ‘just a mom’, not ashamed. Now she wants to empower other mums to feel the same.
“Don’t tell anyone that you’re ‘just’ an anything, especially yourself,” she tells her fellow mothers. “You deserve the same praise, validation and effort that hopefully you give to all your favourite people.
“We all have value no matter if we’re a distinguished scientist, talented musician, super-cool race car driver, heroic firefighter, inspirational teacher, selfless volunteer or devoted stay at home and work mom.
“Live your life knowing that you are unique and important, and worthy no matter what your title, or lack thereof. Be grateful for the gifts you bring, be grateful for the life you lead, be grateful for who you are now, and who you will grow to be.”
We think Trista’s words are incredibly important for mums to hear. Being a mum is not something to be ashamed of. It doesn’t mean you are without goals or ambitions. And it sure as heck doesn’t mean you’re worth less than a successful ‘high-flier’. Being a mum is, without a doubt, the hardest job there is. That it’s the most fulfilling just happens to be a lucky bonus.
The way we see it, loving, hardworking moms give the successful scientists, businesspeople and teachers of tomorrow the love, security and support they need to be the best people they can be so they can advance in their chosen fields. Mums are the backbone of a flourishing, healthy society. How could we ever be ashamed of that?
