It can be extremely difficult to watch a young child struggle with a debilitating and life-altering addiction, especially when they aren’t equipped with the life experience and coping skills needed to tackle a trial of this magnitude. Making matters harder, because a child is not financially independent, they may have lied or stolen from you to support their addiction and get their quick fix.
Of course, despite the betrayals, the heartache, and the familial tensions, you’ll do anything to keep the children in your life safe.
Hoping your child will give up their substance of choice and get clean, but don’t know where to start on the road to recovery? Review this drug addiction timeline and consider some of these tips for helping a child who struggles with addiction.
1. Talk about it
If you know that there’s a problem, you may be afraid to actually talk about it and address it head-on. Unfortunately, those suffering from a substance use disorder can be unpredictable and even irate. You may not know how your child will react when you confront them. If the conversation spirals into a screaming match, you may fear that familial tensions will only exacerbate their addictive behaviors.
However, avoiding the conversation altogether can have more detrimental effects than diving headfirst into the intervention. When you confront the substance-use disorder sufferer, you need to talk about the situation honestly and directly. Take the time to sit down with your child and voice your concerns. An open and frank conversation can help strengthen your bond and can encourage your loved one to seek medical help if the conversation is executed correctly.
2. Demonstrate empathy
A conversation about addiction is inherently uncomfortable. You should do your best to be empathetic toward their situation. Avoid being confrontational or accusatory. Consciously avoid turning the conversation into a fight, especially if that's been the pattern of the past. Be calm and understanding throughout the encounter. Don’t let your loving attitude waver when the going gets tough.
To fully empathize with a loved one who suffers from a substance use disorder, it helps to understand the timeline of an addiction. Some will exhibit addictive tendencies following their first use, other substance abusers will become dependent after multiple uses. Regardless of the situation, the acceptance and recovery process can be long and tumultuous.
3. Listen
It can be easy to interject with your feelings and how your child's addiction has affected you. Don’t worry, there will be time to share this personal trauma later. In the intervention phase, it might be best to focus on how the substance-use disorder sufferer is feeling. Remember, children will have a limited capacity for adult emotion, especially if they are grappling with the emotional wear associated with drug abuse.
Addiction can feel like a personal attack and defiance of your house rules, but there may be an underlying reason they feel the need to turn to drugs or alcohol. Ask questions and listen. Some children won't want to open up, and you may need to try to coax the information out of them.
4. Create consequences
While you want to be understanding and sympathize with your child’s situation, you’ll also need to establish boundaries, especially if you financially support them. You’ll need to explain to the child that there’ll always be consequences for their actions. Reiterate that these consequences don’t come from a place of anger or spite, but love.
In this process, clarify what behavior is inappropriate and outline the adjoining consequences for undesirable behavior. If the child does mess up, stick to your word. You don't want your child to think that you’re spewing empty threats and aren't serious about your punishments.
Just don’t be unreasonable. Don’t threaten to completely disown them for slipping up once or twice. Otherwise, they’ll believe that abandonment is warranted even when they’re suffering from a substance use disorder that is a certifiable health condition.
5. Build them up
Many people turn to drugs and alcohol due to insecurity. Build your child's self-esteem by mentioning their strengths and talents. Even if they’ve made some mistakes in the past, they’re still a good person who’s deserving of love. Help boost your child’s self-confidence, so they don’t feel inclined to turn to drugs for that same sense of euphoria.
6. Talk about the future
Your child needs to start thinking about their future and how their addiction could negatively impact their educational goals, their career plans, or even their long-term health. If your child has voiced their life goals, use these aspirations to motivate your child towards recovery.
Ask your child how they envision the next ten years of their life unfolding. Then, follow-up by asking what they’ll need to do to get there. Make sure you maintain a positive disposition about the future and always be encouraging. Children who feel they’re doomed to fail will resort to drugs to cope.
7. Offer solutions
Ultimately, you’ll want to offer some solutions to their substance-use problem. The first solution is usually to admit them to a rehabilitation center. Here, they’ll be forced to detox while they’re staying at the facility. A team of psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, and social workers will teach your children invaluable coping skills to deal with their cravings and will educate them on what to do when/if they relapse.
Hopefully, your child will meet people during their stay who encourage them to stay strong and stay sober after they’re discharged. A rehab facility can also force people to deal with the underlying causes of their addiction, whether it be a traumatic event or an underlying mental health condition. If your child suffers from mental illness, a psychiatrist can prescribe them with an antidepressant, a mood stabilizer, or antipsychotics during their visits.
These mental health professionals can also design a treatment plan for life outside of rehab. Remember, recovery-based initiatives shouldn’t end at the rehab facility. Your child should continue therapy after rehab to ensure long-lasting results. Show your support by offering different options, whether it’s one-on-one counseling, group therapy, or a support group.
Addiction doesn't only affect the person suffering from a mental health disorder. It also affects the loved ones around them, especially their immediate family. It’s important to remember that your child needs you now more than ever. Luckily, you’ll have help from the professionals.
If your child is still on your insurance, you may be able to help them get the medical attention they need. When they return from an in-patient rehabilitation center, you can take the next steps toward recovery and sobriety.
