Apparently boobs have been classified into seven typical shapes – bell, teardrop, slender, asymmetric, east west, side set and round – so why pray tell, do the women in underwear ads, beautiful as they are, all look the bleedin’ same?
As we all know, women’s bods differ dramatically. Big thighs, round bums, slim arms, cankles – we ladies are gloriously unique; and this is precisely what makes the female form so fascinating.
So is it any wonder we’re SO over women’s underwear ads...
1. Because we don’t all have the kind of stomach that’s so flat you could iron a cardigan on it. Not that we’d ever even wear the cardigan. Why would we when we have a stomach that flat?
2. Because we haven’t seen even one teeny tiny stretchmark repped. Why hide the proud tiger stripes of a woman who carried a HUMAN inside her stomach for nine months?
3. Because the majority of women don’t coquettishly cover their boobs with their arms, while sticking their arses out seductively. It just doesn’t really happen if we’re honest.
4. Likewise for women flaked out on the ground in their bra and knickers, positioning their bodies in the most flattering way possible. Women in real life don’t want a dose of carpet burn, or to find a piece of Lego stuck to their bum.
5. The lack of representation is laughable. If companies want all shapes of women to buy their bras, then why are they representing just one shape? And nope, we’re not buying the ‘aspirational’ line. Women WANT to see diversity, simple as that!
6. Because they’re making our young daughters think this is the only way a woman’s body should look. We want them to be empowered and confident, not ashamed they aren’t conforming to an unattainable ideal.
7. Because women over the age of 35 (SHOCK! HORROR!) also want to look sexy in their undies. Where are the more mature woman in these ads?
8. Because if we were to believe these ads, the only boobs women have are plump, pert and no more than a C-cup.
