An expectant mum has taken to the internet to explain why she doesn’t want visitors when she gives birth to her second child.
The frustrated mum took to parenting forum Mumsnet to share her thoughts on the topic of receiving visitors when you are at your most tired and vulnerable after giving birth.
Most mums feel exhausted after giving birth and given that a newborn’s immune system is not fully developed, there are also health concerns to bear in mind when receiving visitors.
"Is it just me or are there a lot of people who think they have some right to see a squishy newborn?" she mused.
She continued: “My friends have sent messages saying ‘Congratulations, let us know when you’re up for visitors/meeting up’ etc. Lovely.
“But family, especially family that you don’t see much of normally, expect to come around and see you when the baby is a couple of days old”.
She bemoaned her visitors’ bad timing, explaining that they aren’t thinking about how about how it might impact on her as she recovers from birth and adjusts to life with a newborn.
"There is never any question of 'Is mum ready for it?' Or 'Is it convenient??' No of course not!!" she wrote.
“Was I being unreasonable to book a last minute break in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, away with DH, and DD1 & 2 for a month and not tell anyone where we are??" she asked.
Many others agreed with her stance on visitors. “Just say no… you don’t even need to be rude”, one urged.
"If I were you, I would wait several days before even telling anyone your baby has been born and then don't answer the door to any callers outside of a prearranged time or agree for all visitors to come on a certain day at a certain time and get it over with," one mum suggested.
However, some thought she ought to embrace having visitors who wanted to share her baby joy.
“Maybe it's because a squishy newborn is about the best thing anyone could ever wish to see.... a new baby is life-affirming, sweet, gorgeous, hopeful, and so much more besides. It makes people feel so much better about life in general”, one commenter said.
“That said, all you have to do is say ‘No, it's not convenient’ ”, they advised.
What do you think mums? Have you struggled with saying no to visitors or did you welcome them with open arms? Let us know.
