I’m currently cooking my kids dinner, while I’m waiting I’ve been looking in the mirror at my figure and how much it has changed since having the two boys.
I have flabby bits in places I never knew possible. I was always a size 10-12 before I had my kids, very straight bodied with a small waist and boobs. I put on nearly 4 stone with Kellan, I felt huge. After a real shitty labour, I got taken in for an emergency c-section. After a few weeks of healing, I looked at my once flat tummy which now had this little red scar which bought my little human into the world with a saggy bit of skin. My tummy.
I did spring back pretty quickly – nothing was ever too tight, I still wore the stuff I did before I was pregnant. Then I fell pregnant with Grayson, followed by my second section. This time is didn't heal as well and I didn't spring back like before. I remember my partner helping me into the shower, once he had gone, I broke into tears as I looked at my overhang. From that moment my confidence went. A few months later and dieting I dropped back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, this time around a size 12. I have made peace that there is only so much I can change about my body, but I have to remember I have carried two little boys and brought them safely into this world.
The reason for this blog is because I went bikini shopping today in Spain – thought I would spruce my wardrobe up. There I was, happily piling them into my basket looking for my sizes. I decided to try them on when I got home. One fitted me. One.
I’m not sure what is going on with clothes at the moment, but I was left upset and down in the dumps. I refuse to wear a swim costume, I’m not hiding my body. Don’t get me wrong, there are things I would love to change, but I’m ok with where I am. I just feel like society feels like you have to be extremely skinny to fit into any sort of fashion. I’m just a mum with a tum with cellulite and stretch marks trying to make myself feel better with a shopping trip just to be left feeling unattractive and frumpy.
Love your body. Post or pre-pregnancy. We are all beautiful.
I gave the bikinis to my mum. The one that does fit, still isn’t great, feel like half of my arse is hanging out but, oh well… This is me.
