Made in Chelsea star Louise Thompson has returned home from hospital after being readmitted last week amid her ongoing battle with her mental health.
Louise went through a traumatic labour and birth experience last November when she gave birth to her son Leo which led her to have PTSD, depression and crippling anxiety.
The reality television star has now spoken out about her life over the past year and has urged her followers to seek help if they are battling with their mental health.
Thompson shared the emotional video to Instagram, opening it by saying, “I’ve already tried to do this video six times and I’ve just balled hysterically. My mood is so up and down and there’s a lot going on”.
Louise revealed that she was also suffering physically. “I’m back home, I’m on an awful lot of medication. I was a couple of days away from having part of my colon removed and diverted through my stomach”.
While the 32-year-old had physical ailments since the birth of her son, she admitted, “The mental side of stuff is actually 10 times worse than the physical because it feels so much harder to control”.
“I basically wanted to share what I’ve been through because despite the fact that I might look incredibly well-presented, put together, happy, fit, well, I’m really not and mental health is the most cruel invisible disease ever but I want you to know if you are suffering, you are not alone”.
“You never think these things are gonna happen to you, I had everything and it all has been just completely ripped away from me”.
The mum-of-one tearfully shared a story to her 1.4M Instagram followers to show just how dark of a place her mind was in. “There was a time when an aeroplane would fly over the house and every single time it would fly over I just hoped that it would crash into the house and just obliterate us because it would be the easiest way to go”.
“My brain was so warped. I couldn’t think of anything other than death”.
She continued, “I was scared of everything in my house. I was scared of my body, I couldn’t look at my body. I couldn’t look in the mirror”, before saying that fear is one of the worst emotions she’s had to deal with and she’d rather feel sad or angry instead of scared.
Louise revealed that at some points she forgot that she had a son and found it hard to do everyday tasks. “I didn’t know that I had a child. I couldn’t leave the house. I couldn’t stay in bed because I was petrified of being in bed and having continuous panic attacks back to back to back. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t smell. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t function at all”.
She went on to sadly admit, “I just was not alive. My brain basically shut down as a result of nearly dying twice. When something really really traumatic happens to you your brain can’t process it properly so your memories get stuck and you live in fear”.
Before ending the video, which is just over seven minutes long, Louise pleads with her followers to ‘keep going’ and to seek help if they need it. “Please don’t feel alone. There are ways out so ask for help”.
Louise wrote a lengthy caption for the video writing, “My rationale for doing this video was to try and help someone that might be suffering in silence or feeling alone but I’m not sure whether I will be able to achieve that”.
“I’m not going to sugar coat things I’ve had a bloody rough ride over the past year. My life went from a 9/10 to a 1/10 in the space of about a month. I survived a house fire, a few near death experiences, a long old stint in hospital, and some CATASTROPHIC mental health breakdowns. More recently I’ve been readmitted because of some severe colon problems where I was about 2 days away from ending up with life changing surgery”.