While most of us acknowledge that the relationship we share with our other half can be a little less-than-perfect at times, we don't often imagine our children may feel the same.

One mum, who learned that her marriage was not an exclusive entity but open to judgement and ridicule at the hands of her children, has explored the issue in a recent blog post.

Monica Swanson recalled an event which made her suddenly realise that the nature of the relationship she shares with her husband is always open to interpretation – a revelation which ultimately made her analyse various aspects of marriage and family life in a compelling online post.

Recounting a recent car journey with her husband and sons, Monica wrote: “In the middle of it all, one of our boys, the chattiest one, leaned forward until his little body squeezed almost between our front seats, and breathing down our neck, spoke up, “Dad, you never TALK!”

Bemused by her son's apparent disdain for his father's quiet nature, Monica paid little attention until conversation included her role in the issue.
 


“The boy continued, “I mean, you don’t talk to Mom. You should talk to Mom more!,” she wrote.

According to her children, Monica and her husband Dave spoke only of their sons, their schedules and the minutiae of daily life.

While aware her sons are not privy to the private moments and intimate chats she shares with her husband when alone, Monica still found herself concerned by the childrens' perception of their parents' relationship.

Turning her attention to the future, Monica considered the impact her marriage will have had on her kids.

“It made me realise that one day….all of our kids…will be in a college dorm room, or on a date, (or in some therapist’s office,) and they will say the words, “My parents marriage was ______.”  What will go in the blank?” she wondered.
 


Determined not to let daily life prevent her from showing appreciation for the father of her children and the man she married, Monica wrote: “This little car chat was just the motivation I needed to put a little more effort into the way in which I treat my husband.  I want my boys to remember a mom who loved her husband deeply.”

“They notice. They watch. They listen. They have thoughts and feelings about how my husband and I relate. And that hit me really hard," she admitted.

Is this something you've considered?

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