We’ve all been there – we’ve splurged on a new purchase we definitely don’t need, and when we’re challenged by our hubby if we’ve bought ANOTHER pair of shoes / bag / dress, we panic and say innocently, “These old things? Nope, I’ve had them ages!”

 

So we snorted a bit when we saw the lengths this mum went to in hiding her new shoes from her husband.

 

OK, it’s a bit cruel, but boy can we relate.

 

UK mum Gill Sims, who blogs at Peter and Jane, shared the hilarious exchange on her Facebook page.

 

First her husband asked her if the shoes were new, to which she replied indignantly, “No!” And when he continued to question her, saying her never saw them before, she exploded:

 

 

“Well,” says Mummy in outrage, “if you weren’t a rubbish husband and actually ever bothered to notice anything that I was wearing, or paid any attention to anything I ever say instead of watching Gardeners’ World, and Wheeler F*****g Dealers, and motorbike races, so many motorbike races that even I now know the names of all the riders and even know they are not called drivers, this despite the fact that I have NO F*****G INTEREST in the Moto GP whatsoever, yet I still have more of an interest in it that you appear to do about any aspect of MY life, then maybe you would know when I actually got these shoes!

 

“Mummy continues to rant in this vein for several minutes more, referencing the time she had three inches cut off her hair and went several shades lighter and Daddy didn’t even realise she’d had her hair done, and the time he DID notice that she had fake tanned herself but only to call her an Oompa LoopPay, and various other times he did something else quite thoughtless, until Daddy is suitably chastened.”

 

 

And after this outburst, poor “Daddy” had no choice but to give in and apologise:

 

“When Mummy pauses to take a breath, Daddy says “I’m sorry, you are right. I remember now, you have had those shoes for ages. How pretty you look tonight. Would you like a glass of wine?

 

“Mummy sniffs bravely and says “Yes, thank you, that would be lovely” and when Daddy is not looking she smirks smugly and hides the receipt for the shoes, which are of course brand spanking new.”

 

Cruel Mummy, so very cruel, but also so very hilarious. And hey, we mums work hard, we deserve a treat every now and then, right?

 

SHARE if you can totally relate to Gill’s deception!

45 Shares

Latest

Trending