Mum-of-two Zoe George is not one for glossing over the gory details of motherhood. And her latest post, while very graphic, is something that a lot of mums will be able to relate to – and something that all mums/ mamas-to-be should read.
“Now, I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again – everybody’s birth story is different. This is a candid, telling of events that transpired the night of March 14th leading into March 15th, which resulted in the birth of my first child and ‘the broken vagina’,” she explains on her blog: The Subtle Mummy.
Continuing, Zoe went on to say that her son, Ari, was two weeks overdue when doctors decided to induce her.
“This child did not want to come out! No amount of raspberry leaf tea, curry or brisk walks were getting this kid out of me. He had maxed his time in there and my appointment to be induced was made.”
Eight hours of trying to control the pain with breathing, Zoe received an epidural. However, when Baby was about to arrive, doctors gave Zoe a choice: forceps or C-section.
“I remember the doctor leaning back, almost in a squat position, and pulling on those forceps that were around my baby’s head. I couldn’t see everything, but my husband, who was in the corner of the room hugging the curtain and shaking like a leaf, while I yelled to him 'TAPE THE BIRTH! TAKE SOME PICTURES! I WANNA SEE MY PLACENTA!!', tells me he was 100 percent positive the baby’s head was going to rip off and the doctor would go flying back across the room.
"Out came baby Ari, in what seemed like five pushes, and off to work they went stitching up my tear.”
However, Zoe’s troubles were just beginning.
“We went home and the struggles began; I struggled with breastfeeding, struggled to pee, struggled to even sit on a toilet without feeling like my insides were going to drop out of the gaping hole that once was my vagina.”
However, after about 12 months, Zoe was examined by her gynaecologist, who was shocked by what he saw.
“He described it as three bands, like the skin between your thumb and pointer finger pulled taut, and anytime anything rubbed on them they feel like they’re tearing.
"Basically, it was scar tissue from my stitches and I could either have surgery to fix it (and then have an elective Caesarean so as to avoid the same thing happening again with a natural birth) or 'bear through it' until we conceived and then 'hope the next baby tears the same spot so that it can be re-stitched more carefully'.
"I decided to give the latter option a go for one more month."
Thankfully, it all worked out and after the birth of her daughter, Ambrosia, a doctor carefully sewed Zoe back up.
“I have a long way to go before I can say I’m 100 percent relaxed down there, but there are no more tears and biting pillows (unless it’s in a good way, wink wink).”
Zoe decided to share her story in a bid to spread awareness of vaginismus: a spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina that occurs against your will.
“I have been embarrassed to write this story for a while, but every time I meet someone in person and tell them they are surprised and feel really terrible for me that I went through it. I told this story to raise awareness of the issue, it was a hard one to share.”
Such a brave mum.
