We've all done it; we have sat back and watched while the shamers layed blame and accusations without doing a thing.
We have seen the comments, but we don't know what we can do to help, or we're just not ready to give a hand.
Because once we add to the conversation we're openly inviting people to have a pop at our expense.
Nikki Pennington has also sat back.
The mum-of-three admits that she has watched as social media has attacked mothers: "I’ve watched them come in swarms with words that cut to the core as their weapons of choice."
But she has also done something which many of us have often been terrified to do, with Nikki completely putting herself on the line.
"I've even tried to step in a time or two but the mob mentality was already set and the battle lines were drawn."
"Anyone that crosses them and tries to rescue the poor mum and her soul on the other end of the comments will be lashed out at with twice the force from mum-shamers everywhere."
Because according to the shamers, you are one of two things; too perfect or a complete slob.
Nikki explains: "You breastfed too long and that’s gross but when you couldn’t any longer and bottle feed your baby, you are a quitter."
"You had too many kids or how dare you just have one. [...] You went too over the top with your child’s first birthday party or you were too lazy and baked a homemade cake."
"Your car is a mess, you are a nasty mum that doesn’t teach your children how to be a good person. Have the perfect Pinterest worthy car that’s cleaned out all the time and don’t you know you should be spending more time with your kids instead of cleaning."
You debate between feeding your children wholly organic, or picking up McDonald's, between allowing your children throw tantrums so they can express their feelings, or correcting them.
It's the debate that will never end well, because there is no right answer.
The mum-of-three has some words of wisdom to part with, and we can't argue with her amazing outlook: "You can’t be the perfect mum for your kids or the world because you are human."
"Here’s what you can be though, a kind and loving mum. A mum that gets up and tries her best over and over again every single damn day even when she feels like she completely failed yesterday."
"A mum that makes memories and believes in the power of messes. A mum that isn’t out to win mother of the year or approval of the masses. A mum that is simply doing the best she can for her babies."
Nikki's honesty goes out to all mums who have messy cars and piled up laundry, the ones who don't seek recognition, the mums who feel judged on a daily basis, because she wants you to know you're doing an amazing job.
"The next time you see a mum floating around out there in the shark infested waters of social media and she needs a life line to rescue her from the mum-shaming, don’t wait for someone else to save her."
"You gear up and jump right in there with her because we are all in this together," added the mum-of-three.
We're all on the same team - let's make sure and let one another know that.
