As soon as you have children, you literally can’t imagine a time they weren’t around. Your babies become your world and not for a gazillion euro would you swap them for anything.
That doesn’t mean that once upon a time we didn’t enjoying having nice hair or expensive bath products though.
Mums-to-be, we don’t want to scare you, but here's a little heads up: as soon as you become a mother, you can say goodbye to all of these...
1. Nice hair
So you have… what’s that thing called, we can hardly remember… oh yes, pride in your appearance? You happily spend money in trendy salons on balayage or deep conditioning treatments? Well in the words of The Sound of Music, so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye. Yep, say your farewells because as soon as you’re a mum it’s a cheap dry cut or cack-handed attempt yourself with the kitchen scissors.
2. White clothes
Unless you want to serve your children plain yoghurt and mashed potatoes for the next five years all your white clothes are going to have to be relegated to the back of your wardrobe – no one wants to walk around looking like a Jackson Pollock painting. The best advice we can give you is match your outfit to the colour of your child’s dinner.
3. Privacy
The good old days of getting changed in peace or shaving your legs without curious pairs of eyes on you are gone. God forbid you even attempt to hide anything from your children – they know everything, and if you’re holding something back, they’ll sniff it out at twenty paces. Just give in, it’s easier.
4. Sleep
A beautiful but distant memory. So distant in fact, you’ll doubt it ever really happened. Wait, you’ll ask yourself, once upon a time I had eight hours sleep? No, I can’t, I won’t, believe it.
5. Going shopping
The days of leisurely browsing the rails are gone, because just as you’re about to pick up that gorgeous shearling jacket, your little one will shout, “Mum please can we go, I’m bored!”
You’ll try to involve your child to buy yourself more time by saying something like, “Hon, mum needs to buy herself a jacket. Will you help me pick? What about this one?” but it will backfire when they say it looks like a dog which leads them to beg for a dog which leads you to put down the jacket and leave the shop.
6. Posh toiletries
You will understand what we mean when you walk into the bathroom to see your little angel covered in your expensive Aveda hair masque and Chanel lipstick and smiling proudly as if to say: “What’s yours is mine mum”, which of course, it is.
7. Sex
Any sort of amorous activities, if you can even muster up the energy that is, will have to be planned with military precision. Even then nothing is guaranteed.
8. Nice things
It’s goodbye pretty, hello practical. Every single thing you buy will have to have a purpose. Either it’s wipe clean, it’s safe, or it’s a legal requirement.
9. A moment’s peace
Just when you’re about to gratefully sink into the sofa to read that magazine you’ve been dying to catch upon your little one will all of a sudden want to know where babies come from, or why boys have a “dangly thing and girls don’t”.
10. Putting yourself first
It’s an instinctive and beautiful part of being a mum. The power of it will take your breath away. You literally couldn’t put yourself first if you tried. And would you want to try anyway? Nope.
