Mum-of-three Stacey Solomon has opened up about her raw experience with postnatal depression, saying that she still feels “tremendous guilt”.
The Loose Women presenter definitely seems to be a jack of all trades and makes parenting look easy, as she documents everything and anything from upcycling projects to recipe ideas for adorable kid-friendly snacks and effortless outfit inspo.
However, while appearing as a guest on Bryony Gordon's Mad World podcast, Stacey reveals that life wasn’t always a walk in the park, as she talked about her journey through postnatal depression after giving birth to her first son Zachary who is now 13-years-old.
“I have moments now with Zachy, where I think, ‘Aww, I wish I loved you from the very minute’,” Stacey confessed, adding, “Not that I didn’t, I’m sure I did, I just didn’t feel it and I didn’t get it. And it brings me tremendous guilt”.
“But it is what it is, I can’t change it. It was just the way that I felt,” Stacey reiterates, explaining that her first rough experience with motherhood prepared her for when she gave birth to her next two sons, eight-year-old Leighton and nearly two-year-old Rex whom she shares with fiancé Joe Swash.
“Every other time I’ve given birth, I was prepared to feel that way and I knew that it would pass. It was just the most comforting feeling, because when I was in ‘it’ with Zack I genuinely thought ‘I am never going to be happy again, and I am never going to love my child,’ and it just made me feel horrendous.” 31-year-old Stacey admitted.
“When I had Rex a couple of years ago I had exactly the same feelings, like the gut wrenching… just unhappy. I just feel deeply unhappy for no reason — I’m so happy, but I’m just deeply unhappy and uncontrollably sobbing all the time.”
“But at least I knew whilst I was going through that little stage, that I would come out of it. So, yeah again there were positives to come out if that. But I really, really wish I didn’t feel like that, but it’s just who I am I suppose.”
If you are suffering from postnatal depression, please feel free to reach out to The Association for Post Natal Illness, by phoning their helpline on 020 7386 0868.