Sometimes in the height of the day by day routine, things can get a little repetitive.
Each day feels the same as the last. You feel like you're drowning in a sea of toys and baby food, your ears are ringing from all the screeches and you find you're asking yourself.. "am I really cut out for this?"
This is how I was feeling a couple of days ago. My three-year-old was at a level of crazy I have never witnessed before. He would shout and scream and in turn, the other two kids would cry, then altogether like a choir of drowning cats.
Everything I said went on deaf ears, he wasn't falling for the bribes or threats and even 'very cross mummy' didn't bat an eyelid of the demon that had taken over his body that day. I was out of tricks, defeated, the demon had won.
And yes I found myself thinking "is this it? Did I sign up for something I really don't feel capable of doing right? Am I really cut out for this?" Granted it's not one of my proudest thoughts, not one I'd want to be shouting from the rooftops but as the day went on and the kids were in bed I thought about it some more.
I thought about the many 'off days' I've had throughout the years? How many times have I called in sick to work or cancelled plans with friends or just stormed around with a face like thunder snapping at anyone who dared to talk to miss PMS-head? I may have been sick, self-inflicted or otherwise, on my period or just couldn't be arsed with life that day.
Then I realised, kids have off days too, only they can't express these emotions like we can. When I asked my son "what is wrong with you today?" His answer wasn't "ah mummy I can't be arsed, I'm just in bad form." They don't know why they're feeling the way they are, what they can do to change it or how to explain it. They're learning, trying, testing each day's emotions that are thrown their way. They're not sure how to tackle these feelings yet and it's frustrating, therefore enters tantrum city!!
That's where we as parents come in, it's our job to help them understand what's going on. Instead of trying to stop the strop or temper tantrum, yell or resort straight to the naughty step, I'm going to try understand where it's coming from, tackle it from a different angle, change the subject or try to make him laugh. Ride it out and learn to overcome those emotions together.
So from this day forward, I'm going to try harder to understand my children. They might be young but their minds are growing, and in order to be able to overcome everything life will throw at them in the future, they need all the help they can get from us now, to understand how to do just that. Who knows, we might just understand what the hell is going on inside their tiny little heads and make our own lives easier in the process!
With this I realised I AM cut out for this, I did sign up for this and although parenthood is the hardest thing I'll ever do, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Taking on the good days and the bad days and learning from them just like the kids are. And if I can take a resolution from the days we want to run away from and put it into action for the better of tomorrow then I know I'm exactly where I should be and I'm doing just fine.
We're all doing just fine, mamas.
