Summer is here, which is absolutely wonderful news. However, that means it’s swimsuit season – an announcement that typically sends shivers down our spines!
Of course, this is only made worse by the fact that 2017’s ‘trendy’ swimsuits are possibly the most revealing and unflattering we have ever clapped eyes on. Indeed, with cut-outs at every angle, it’s never been so difficult to hide the evidence of that daily doughnut.
Thankfully, US mums Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley have our backs, and they have released a hilarious takedown on the whole idea of being ‘bikini body ready’ and pouring yourself into unflattering swimwear.
“Nothing will make you feel worse about your body than the swimsuits they make,” Jen assures us. She and Kristin then get to work on deconstructing the popular swimsuits of 2017.
Each mum dons a different style of suit with one unifying trend – each one is ‘barely there’, with enough cut-outs and plunging lines to ensure they’re not getting ANY support!
“What is with these cut-outs?” asks a puzzled Kristin. “Isn’t the whole idea to keep everything in? It looks like you’re pressing something against a tennis racquet!”
Can we get an amen, mums?! Meanwhile, Jen announces that she simply ‘hates everything’ about her ruffled number.
“This is like, ‘Hmm, I wonder if there’s a way to make your butt feel too big, to really accentuate your love-handles and make your bust feel inadequate?’” she jokes, as she takes in her purple, plunge-necked, ruffled number.
The commentary only gets more and more hilarious as the mums question whether the string suits were designed by Spiderman, and observe that one particular pair of bottoms gives Jen ‘four complete butt cheeks’.
Of course, the most important review comes from Kristin, who concedes that she ‘can’t discipline’ her children in any of these swimsuits. It looks like it’s back to the full one-pieces and kaftans for us, then!
All laughter and joking aside, Kristin and Jen have a really important message, both for their daughters and women everywhere: don’t buy into the idea of looking ‘sexy’ in your swimsuit; wear something that makes you feel good, and do it for yourself.
As Kristin so wonderfully puts it: “I would love a revenge body, I will take a f**king attitude.” Genius.
