"The truth is, we can do everything in life, but not at the same time. We cannot raise healthy children if we are not there for them emotionally and physically."
Over a ten-year period, while working as a psychoanalyst, author Erica Komisar saw a decline in the mental health of children from an earlier age.
Concerned as a therapist, Erica decided to write a book about what happens to children when mothers "devalue, de-prioritise and neglect mothering".
Her book, Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, looks at the importance of mums being around their children, particularly in the early days.
"Too often, mothers are putting their work and their own needs ahead of their children's," the mum-of-two said to MummyPages.
"I know this issue is a very controversial one - so controversial, in fact, that few dare to address it."
In fact, while she understands that some women will have an 'aha' moment after reading this book, she does know that others will feel guilty.
"Feeling of guilt is a singular thing," she explains when asked about this.
"Feeling guilty is something that needs to be explained and women who already feel conflicted feel it. It can help people to make different choices."
However, the author insists that she is not telling mums that they can't have a career or dreams, but rather, for the first few years at least, to put them aside for their child.
Why? Because in the first three years of a child's life they are going through social and emotional brain development, and need their mum around.
"When children are older and need their mothers less intensely and they can make sense of their mother's absence, seeing their mother balance meaningful work with raising a family can be empowering," she explains.
"But in the first three years, it's quite a different story."
But why mothers? What about dads?
Well, as Erica explains, mothers offer something to the child that the dad cannot.
"Men and women are biologically different - and it's not about gender equality," she told us.
"Mothers help regulate emotions, like fear, stress, sadness while fathers help regulate aggression and separation."
So what needs to be done?
Well in Erica's opinion, governments do not have the child's best interest at heart when giving out childcare grants or back to work tax incentives for mums.
Rather she feels they would be better off increasing tax favours for working families.
"To enable mothers to have a choice about whether they stay at home or not - to give money to families that can be either used for childcare or as financial help for mums who decide to give up work."
The mum believes society has a lot of growing up to do - "we basically told women that you're a traitor if you don't go back to work fulltime" - and wants mothers to see the break in career as more of a pause rather than leaving the workforce entirely.
Whether you agree with her or not, Erica's book will definitely get you thinking.
Being There: Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years is available now.
