Imagine a film directed by Stanley Kubrick, written by Lewis Carroll with a visual feast designed by Baz Lurhman. The movie progresses as a stream of consciousness, with the key protagonist narrating the entire time. It would go something like this:
“Oh, I’m awake. I was asleep. Why am I awake now? MUMMMMMYYYY. No, not you, Mummy, I want Daddy. Oh, Daddy. No, I want Mummy. I want breakfast. I want Weetos. Thank you, Daddy.
“I’m outside. I can see the chickens. I will feed Buzz Lightyear to the chickens. Here you are, chickens. SOB! THEY’RE PECKING MY BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! MUMMMMMMMYYYYYY! Ooooh, look – a squirrel. I’m in the car. I want to walk. I WANT DOWN! MUMMMMMMMYYYYY! DOWN! I don’t want to walk. Mummy, cuddle. CUDDLE, MUMMY! You can push the pram, carry Big’s school bag AND carry me! Mummy! CUDDLE! Down. Down, Mummy.
“Mummy, it’s a Gruffalo! IT’S A GRUFFALO! Do you agree, Mummy? Yes. NO, IT’S NOT A GRUFFALO!
“Lunches. I want my lunches. MUMMMMYYYY. Mmmm, pasta.
“Where’s Big? Big is at pre-school. I want Big.
“It’s bath time. I don’t want a bath. I don’t want to get out of the bath. I want to do drawing. I want to draw on the bath. I want to draw on my sister in the bath.
The movie’s title? A day in the mind of a two-year-old. Exhausting.