We’ve all been there, that sleep-deprived state where we think we’ve gone a bit, well, mad. We start to see things, we’re pretty much convinced that we’ll never sleep again and we’re basically zombified shells of our former selves.
Ah, motherhood!
Well one mum who knows this all too well is Amy Ransom, who blogs at the aptly titled ‘Surviving Motherhood’. Amy has penned a brilliant piece titled ‘A week in the life of a sleep deprived parent’ and it’s making us laugh and feel tired in equal measure…
Day one is where it all goes wrong…
“You’re feeling a bit smug,” Amy writes. “For the past few weeks, bedtime’s been ok. The kids have gone to bed on time(ish). And stayed in bed. ALL NIGHT.”
Day two is where it really kicks off…
Amy likens the sleep deprivation to a horror film. And we’re inclined to agree, in more ways than one. “Yes, last night’s 3 AM showing of The Omen, where you woke to find your child standing at the side of your bed STARING at you, has started the ball rolling,” says Amy. “They’ve got a taste for it.”
Day three is “where our world implodes”…
“You are totally screwed. And will spend approximately three hours in your bed, asleep. If you’re lucky,” she acknowledges.
Day four is the day we are likely to cry…
Yep, there’s always that point where you start to sob exhausted tears – well, that’s if you can muster up the energy. “As you try to manage overtired children in your own exhausted state,” writes Amy. “Children who will not get up in the morning. Not get dressed. Not want to go to nursery or school. You will say things like, ‘THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO GO TO BED AT NIGHT!’”
Day five is where we lose all hope…
The overtired mum achieves a state of grim acceptance: “Forget it,” Amy says. “Life is over. Nothing good can happen on this day.”
Day six calls for desperate measures…
“Day six is the day you decide you have HAD ENOUGH. “When you will be forced to do one of two things,” says Amy. “Sell your kids. Or do whatever it takes to make them go to bed and stay in bed.”
Day seven is where we get our revenge…
Then comes the stage where we need to get our power back. “Your revenge will be putting the kids to bed at 6.00 PM,” writes Amy. That’ll teach them”, you think (it won’t).”
And then, instead of catching up on all that sleep, Amy says we’ll stay up all night drinking wine and watching TV.
“I mean, why not, you deserve it after such a hellish week, right?”
We think Amy has NAILED it. Oh for the tables to turn when they’re teenagers and we’re waking them up early! Revenge is a dish best served with a, “Come on get up I’m hoovering your room and I want to get it done before 7am!”
You can read Amy’s full piece on her website here.
