One child family

It's not unusual for parents today to decide that one child is enough, although it seems to be difficult to get everyone else to understand that family can be a mummy, daddy and just one child. Why can't everyone else just accept that?

 

There’s never enough time in my day to get everything done. Actually there’s never enough time in the week, month or year either. And with just one child to take care of (excluding my husband, of course) in our family, I don’t know how I could manage if I had more. I’ve nothing against children, after all I have one and love him to pieces.  And it was a consious decision. But both myself and my husband decided to have, and are happy with, one. So why is it that every other person in the world seems to be unhappy with our decision? Is there a section in the parenting manual that contains a set of T&Cs that we missed which outlines the must have a second baby rule?  Are we evil? Are we setting our kid up for a hellish life? Other people would certainly have us believe that.

 

It seems at every opportunity available somebody will ask me when there will be a little brother or sister for my child? And they are, without fail, gobsmacked when I politely but curtly answer, “never”. 

 

There are many reasons why I shouldn’t have another child, I’m well passed my best in terms of child bearing years (though with the constant questions I get, I have clearly been blessed with genes that belie my age), our finances are not such that having another child would be easy – and I refute all claims from people who like to tell me it’s the same costs really – not according to my child minder it’s not. And the most important reason why we shouldn’t have a child (heathens that we are) we just don’t want another one.

 

I truly believe we can give our child an amazing upbringing. I was an only child and I didn’t suffer at all. I grew up with plenty of people around and  my parents always welcomed other children calling around to the house, and I do the same for my child. Even though we are only at nursery age, I make every effort to organise play dates with other mums at the nursery. And I believe a benefit of my growing up as an only child was that I grew an independence that my peers didn’t have, I learned quickly how to figure things out on my own and how to entertain myself without my friends around, and to me, this is an amazing attribute to have and one that I hope my child acquires. My husband on the other hand, came from a typically large Irish family, and I don't think he'd mind me saying, they put the function in dysfunction, in the nicest possible way of course. There's just so many of them, there's always something going on and they all have to be involved in each others lives. It's quite the culture shock, and I'm still not used to it after 10 years.

 

And so, to other parents out there who have, and are happy with, just the one, I salute you.  It is nobody’s concern but your own, and if people don’t get that, you should direct them to the parenting manual T&Cs – we checked them, there is no rule about having another.