Divorce is never easy on anyone but for your tween who is at a vulnerable stage in their life right now, it can prove even more difficult. The first step before discussing with your child about what is occurring is to make sure that you and your spouse come to a healthy resolution. This is essential before discussing any change that is about to take place in your family dynamic.
Be open and honest with your tween
It’s best to be upfront with your tween from the get go, as by "protecting" your child will only delay the inevitable and make things worst in the long run. Display a united front with your spouse and explain to your child as diplomatically as possible about what is occurring. While this is idealistic, you have to remember as parents as much as this is a difficult time for you both; it is just as difficult for your tween and you must ensure that your child’s needs come first before your own.
Effects of divorce on tweens
A tween can react to divorce in many ways but there are a few signs as a parent you can look out for. Your tween may not wish to discuss what is occurring, they may become withdrawn and resist any changes that are taking place. These are understandable reactions and in time your tween will accept the separation between their parents. You need to remember that you have had longer to accept your divorce but to your child this still very new and they will need more time to deal with what is occurring.
Worrying signs
It will take time for your child to accept this big change but your tween could react in unhealthy ways too. It can vary from disruptive behaviour in school to dramatic change in their grades. Sometimes they can rebel from running away to violent outbursts. These are red flags and may sometimes require help from outside your family. The help that your tween may need could vary from a family counsellor, a doctor or talking to someone in your tween’s school. It is again best to tackle these issues head on, as they will become worse in the long run.
The best way for you and your tween to cope with your divorce is to establish that you will both get through this. It may be difficult right now but it in the long run it will prove better not only for you as a parent but for your tween too.
