What is your husband or partner really thinking? Have you ever wished you could delve into his mind to figure out what really going on in there? Every man is different, some are an open book, but there are a few things they don’t necessary want to share with you for fear of your reaction if you knew their inner thoughts. Here are our top 11 secrets the boys keep
Secret 1: Men fall in lust 10 times a day - but it’s you they love
When an attractive woman walks by, your fella’s radar will automatically zone in on her, but this does not mean that he wants to run off with her. Men know that we’re not enormously fond of them ogling other women and they do try to be discreet. Its a meaningless glance and instantly forgotten, so let him think he’s getting away with it!
Secret 2: Men do like to go to the gym or play golf to get away from you
They might barely break a sweat at the gym or go round the golf course in over 90 strokes, but thats not the point. Sometimes men just need to escape from the pressure and noise of the family home, especially after a tough week at work. Sometimes the boys just need some ‘me-time’ but find this hard to express for fear of your reaction.
Secret 3: Men really do fear commitment
Although you may have been together for years and he loves you to bits, men often still have niggly doubts about the big commitment. 99% of the time he is happy and secure with the decision of lifelong fidelity to you, but 1% of the time he is wondering whether he should hold out for Scarlett Johansson. He knows its foolish, he can’t help himself.
Secret 4: He does want to earn more than you
Men’s egos are fragile. The need to feel masculine and protective can be undermined by you bringing home the bacon. Traditionally the man was the breadwinner and the protector of the family, but the world of work has changed and women often earn more than their partner. Rightly or wrongly the social expectation is that men earn nore than women, and although he may be delighted and relieved that you have a great salary, your partner may have feelings of inadequacy.
Secret 5: They won’t admit it, but men like DIY
You may have asked him a thousand times to fix that light fitting or to replace that wonky door handle but when your fella actually gets round to tackling those household DIY chores, he finds it very rewarding and feels very masculine. And he gets to use power tools. But he doesn’t want to appear too handy in case you give him a list of jobs to do on the weekend.
Secret 6: Men like to be mothered
He definitely does not want you to turn into his mother, but he is very happy for you to mother him. He is happy for his dinner to appear in front of him each evening and he doesn’t question how the laundry magically appears in the wardrobe. And when he is unwell, he is quite prepared to be treated like one of the kids.
Secret 7: He doesn’t always feel like a grown up
He may look like an adult, wear a suit and do manly things, but deep down he still fells like a teenager and his sense of humour may still be as juvenile as when he was sitting at the back of the classroom. His idea of fun might be an evening playing xBox or playing football with his friends. He is often known to take over the kid's Lego projects and sand castle building, etc - sound familiar?
Secret 8: He doesn’t always listen to you
You’re dying for him to get home from work so you can tell him all the day’s news. He appears to listen to you rambling on about your day. He sits there nodding and agreeing with you, but actually his brain is switched off. This is not a good time for him to communicate, but he does a great job of seeming to be interested.
Secret 9: He thinks he’s a better driver than you
Although all the statistics indicate that women are safer drivers than men, he secretly feels that safer doesn’t mean better. Men love their cars and feel that they belong in the masculine domain and us girls can’t truly appreciate or control this testosterone beast. He is quite likely to offer to park the car for you.
Secret 10. He sometimes feels depressed
Depression can strike anyone regardless of gender. However, men are less likely to express their emotional pain in the dangerous belief that boys don’t cry. Instead they often express their sadness or lack of energy by not sleeping, avoiding sex, drinking too much, silence or angry outbursts.
Secret 11. And finally...
Men just want to be loved. This doesn’t fit with men’s self image of the chest beating caveman, but they crave intimacy just as much as women do. Emotional support, trust, communication, respect, unconditional acceptance - these are just as important to men, just don’t expect him to say it out loud!