No amount of parenting books can prepare you for the arrival of a new baby.
You’re sleep-deprived, constantly on-the-go and bombarded with more visitors than you’ve ever had in your life.
How do you cope?
Well, there’s no one way to handle it, but following these tips may help…
Don’t just sleep when they do
Keep perspective
When your baby wakes for the 50th time in one night, it can be tempting to just give in to the tears and scream ‘I can’t, I just can’t do it!’ But you’ll feel less despairing if you chant something else to yourself. Try ‘It won’t last forever’ – it really won’t.
Prepare to feed
Set small goals
If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, remember that progress doesn’t happen overnight. And the good news is that if you can make it four weeks, you’ll be sorted. It gets easier and less painful as you go.
Get some exercise
Get out into the fresh air and go for a walk. Nothing de-stresses you quite like mother nature. Plus, you can bring the baby with you in a stroller – and the stroller will (hopefully) make them doze off. Yes, it will be tough the first time you try getting a baby out of the house, but you'll adjust, and you'll feel better once you do.
Feel free to hibernate
If, like most new mums, you have people knocking down your door to see the newborn, don’t feel obliged to let them in. It’s okay to politely explain that, while you’d love to see them, you’re just exhausted right now and would like to reschedule. Real friends will understand.
Accept help
While you may not feel like seeing people, it’s a good idea to keep in touch with people, especially those who offer to babysit. Also, have a list of chores that need to be done whenever anyone is at your home and offers to help out. You can’t be a good mum without some downtime.
End each day well
If you have something to look forward to at the end of each day, that will help you to keep pushing through, no matter how tough it gets. It might be a dinner with your other half, a night with your favourite boxset, or even just a candle-lit bath. Trust us, it’ll help.
Let it out
It's normal to feel overwhelmed during those first few weeks. Your hormones are all over the place, and you're suddenly in charge of a baby that you have no idea how to handle. But don't bottle up those feelings. Talk about how you're feeling with family or friends, or write it down in a diary.
Learn to ignore advice
People who've been there before will be quick to give you tips on just about everything mum-related. Remember that nobody is a perfect parent, so if there's something you're not comfortable with or don't agree with, feel free to say 'thanks but no thanks.'
Let go
Of mum guilt, that is. No matter how great a person you are, no matter how much you love your child, you’re never going to be that mum that you dreamed you would be. Why? Because that idea was formed before you knew the reality of a mum’s life. Accept it, forgive yourself, and get on with being the best mum that you can be.
