A happier future....
Filed under:
Other
I'm a little concerned that we don't do enough for the emotional well-being of children in this country.
Yesterday I read that rates of self-harm among teenagers are on the rise. Shocking? Not really. Well it is shocking but it’s not surprising. How much pressure can they take? Really?
I don’t know about you but I struggle to juggle my daily life. I have a few people to keep happy – the kids, the boss, the husband (always relegated to that position), friends (generally sidelined). I have managed to organise my life to tick most boxes and get kids to where they need to be and get work done. However, when I was a teenager I remember very clearly having lots of teachers all making several demands, stacks of essays to write, assignments to complete, friends to keep and a job. Suddenly you find your 16 year old self living with adult style pressures but without the freedom. I didn’t have to worry about paying rent or bills but that was always something to look forward to. It is time that we acknowledged that the world of a teenager is stressful.
Imagine doing everything you are doing in a day with the unrest of volatile friendships or relationships in the foreground (that might be the case for you). Imagine the ‘he said, she said’, insecurity that surrounds everything you do. Imagine you are taking examinations that your future (seemingly) depends on and then EVERYTHING you do goes onto Facebook and into a public domain for scrutiny.
Picture coming home from a day at school with all that involves and then being bombarded with outside expectations from extra curricular activities, from parents and friends. Over stimulate your mind so that you are around noise and visuals until you put your phone down and go to sleep or close the laptop. Where is the space to breathe?
How can we help our young people, since it is clear that pressures of life don’t seem to be letting up anytime soon? How can we help them to cope and be resilient in this modern world and not resort to self-mutilation to gain control?
I heard an expert discussing this very topic on the radio yesterday and her advice was simple: TALK. It seems too easy and I am sure that in many cases it is not that straightforward but I am disturbed. I am disturbed that people need to be told to talk to their children. I am more concerned that what we are actually saying is: CARE. Just give a damn about what your child is going through. Like you would if they were a crying baby with basic needs. Like you would if your friend was blubbing on your shoulder. We must not trivialise teenagers’ problems and put it down to a ‘phase’. Why do we pretend we have forgotten what it is like to be young?
But what of the families that really don’t care? What happens to the children who suffer daily abuse both physical and emotional? The parents of these children won’t have an epiphany because they heard an expert on the radio telling them to talk!
I could cry for the people I know who have self-harmed. I can think of one case where the child had suffered extreme unrest in the home. There was no way they would get the support they needed in their OWN HOME and it would appear that school didn’t offer any help either. Self-harm is one very obvious sign that we are losing our way – how much clearer does it need to be? Until we make emotional and mental health our top priority in schools, in homes and in care environments then I don’t think we can come back from this.
Until we start equipping our children with coping mechanisms, sharing wisdom and providing the space to breathe then the rates will just keep going up.
To me it is simple. You teach a child how to take care of themselves spiritually and emotionally and you show them that you care. You give them the gift of perspective and equip them with the tools to cope with anything and you give them freedom.
Children and teenagers need to understand their brains, know that we are all the same and everyone feels the emotions – it is how you process them that counts.
Yes, talking will help but we have to make sure we listen.
Yesterday I read that rates of self-harm among teenagers are on the rise. Shocking? Not really. Well it is shocking but it’s not surprising. How much pressure can they take? Really?
I don’t know about you but I struggle to juggle my daily life. I have a few people to keep happy – the kids, the boss, the husband (always relegated to that position), friends (generally sidelined). I have managed to organise my life to tick most boxes and get kids to where they need to be and get work done. However, when I was a teenager I remember very clearly having lots of teachers all making several demands, stacks of essays to write, assignments to complete, friends to keep and a job. Suddenly you find your 16 year old self living with adult style pressures but without the freedom. I didn’t have to worry about paying rent or bills but that was always something to look forward to. It is time that we acknowledged that the world of a teenager is stressful.
Imagine doing everything you are doing in a day with the unrest of volatile friendships or relationships in the foreground (that might be the case for you). Imagine the ‘he said, she said’, insecurity that surrounds everything you do. Imagine you are taking examinations that your future (seemingly) depends on and then EVERYTHING you do goes onto Facebook and into a public domain for scrutiny.
Picture coming home from a day at school with all that involves and then being bombarded with outside expectations from extra curricular activities, from parents and friends. Over stimulate your mind so that you are around noise and visuals until you put your phone down and go to sleep or close the laptop. Where is the space to breathe?
How can we help our young people, since it is clear that pressures of life don’t seem to be letting up anytime soon? How can we help them to cope and be resilient in this modern world and not resort to self-mutilation to gain control?
I heard an expert discussing this very topic on the radio yesterday and her advice was simple: TALK. It seems too easy and I am sure that in many cases it is not that straightforward but I am disturbed. I am disturbed that people need to be told to talk to their children. I am more concerned that what we are actually saying is: CARE. Just give a damn about what your child is going through. Like you would if they were a crying baby with basic needs. Like you would if your friend was blubbing on your shoulder. We must not trivialise teenagers’ problems and put it down to a ‘phase’. Why do we pretend we have forgotten what it is like to be young?
But what of the families that really don’t care? What happens to the children who suffer daily abuse both physical and emotional? The parents of these children won’t have an epiphany because they heard an expert on the radio telling them to talk!
I could cry for the people I know who have self-harmed. I can think of one case where the child had suffered extreme unrest in the home. There was no way they would get the support they needed in their OWN HOME and it would appear that school didn’t offer any help either. Self-harm is one very obvious sign that we are losing our way – how much clearer does it need to be? Until we make emotional and mental health our top priority in schools, in homes and in care environments then I don’t think we can come back from this.
Until we start equipping our children with coping mechanisms, sharing wisdom and providing the space to breathe then the rates will just keep going up.
To me it is simple. You teach a child how to take care of themselves spiritually and emotionally and you show them that you care. You give them the gift of perspective and equip them with the tools to cope with anything and you give them freedom.
Children and teenagers need to understand their brains, know that we are all the same and everyone feels the emotions – it is how you process them that counts.
Yes, talking will help but we have to make sure we listen.
