Random Acts of Kindness
Filed under:
Motivation & Inspiration
 |
I hold my hands up to being an occasional *read 'frequent'* pessimist. I don't necessarily expect everything to go wrong and to fall to pieces around me, but I don't always have high expectations in life. I habitually assume people won't want to spend time with me (Quite what all these wonderful friends of mine stick around for I don't know!) I often decide before I open the recipe book that whatever I'm about to cook for the first time will be hideous and I pretty much put a blanket label over all strangers which classifies them as idiots. No, not you, you're awesome!
The first ridiculous assumption is clearly stupid because I have many amazing friends and we always have such lovely times meeting up over a meal, coffee, walk or glass of vino. The second is due to me spending too much time living alone and working an insane number of hours a week prior to meeting Phil, so never really turning my hand to cooking, In reality, I'm no Nigella but I'm not too bad and I have it on good authority (hubby) that I make a mean game pie and am a pretty good baker of cakes and cookies. Note to any PRs reading - I'm happy to prove that fact in return for BritMums Sponsorship or other great blog opportunities!
The third assumption essentially stems from too many drivers cutting me up on the road, too many people not thanking me for holding doors open for them and too many people watching me struggle to get Toby in his pram up and down steps. This includes the not-so-kindly Post Office clerk who wouldn't let me use the ramp because I'm not disabled, although that does bring me nicely to my first random act of kindness example. There was a storm raging outside and I'd already pulled an unsettled Toby in his pram up several steep concrete steps to get into the post office because nobody had answered the bell you have to ring to gain access via the ramp. When the clerk refused to let me go out via the ramp I was about to either shout or cry (or both) in frustration when, from the middle of the long queue a girl in her late teens deserted her bags, left the queue and helped me carry Toby safely down the steps. I could have hugged her! She thought nothing of it, but to a sleep-deprived new Mum with a poorly baby in horrid weather it felt better than winning the lottery.
A few weeks ago I bought Toby some shoes and a top in the Baba+Boo sale. If you follow me on Twitter you may notice me talking to and about them a lot because I adore their nappies and that has led to an adoration of their clothing too. Two days after receiving my order, I was having an awful day after receiving some really upsetting news about a friend but I had to go out and run some chores. With Toby in his Papoozle we went to the supermarket and got on with things and I only realised a good hour later that one of his gorgeous robot shoes was missing.
Well, you know what it's like when you're emotional anyway, I was gutted! Being a Twitter addict, I tweeted how upset I was at losing it and that was that. I'd asked all of the customer service places in the centre but to no avail and retracing my steps hadn't reunited us with the shoe so I went home. Imagine my joy when the next day a parcel arrived with a letter in it, as you can see in the photograph.
Well, just when I thought I couldn't love Baba+Boo more than I already did! We'd been chatting on Twitter and Facebook so they knew I'd had a tough day aside from the missing shoe and I was overwhelmed by their kindness.
As regular readers may know, we live in a small village with a very limited bus service and we've only got one car which Phil generally needs for his commute to work. My friends, however (those ones who clearly don't want to spend time with me) are so wonderful and a couple in particular (Yes you, Abby and Laura) always offer Toby and I lifts if we're going the same way, which is so sweet of them and really does ease the pressure of needing to catch a 09:30 bus when we don't need to be somewhere until midday! Likewise, sometimes a neighbour has seen me waiting for the bus and asked where we're going in case she can take us. It's something that can make life so much easier for us and I hope that they know just how much I appreciate them. Likewise, many friends from further afield make the effort to visit us because they know that I can't always get to them.
Back to those idiot strangers who aren't always quite that bad... A few weeks ago I was in Nottingham handing my notice in at work. Toby and I then went around and about before going to pick Phil up but just before he was due to finish work, Toby did an almighty dirty nappy and the only place nearby with changing facilities was a coffee shop. Only customers were allowed to use the facilities so I ordered Phil and I coffees to go and got Toby changed whilst they were being made. He was in his car seat because we'd been waiting in the car for Phil so with one hand carrying Toby and my heavy changing bag slung over my shoulder, I needed one of those cardboard cup holders in order to carry the drinks out. The lady who served me was the epitome of my stranger-hating presumptions and didn't offer me a cup holder, having already snarled at me for adding "Oh, can I also have it with skinny milk please" before she'd even taken payment. So where's the random act of kindness? I'll tell you! A young lad who was working there and looked to be in his early twenties had been smiling and waving at Toby so when the delightful lady handed me my drinks and I very politely requested a cup holder, he immediately came over, picked the drinks up and asked me where I was parked. He took the drinks out for me and even popped them into the car for me as I put Toby back in. How sweet is that?!
I think what I'm trying to do with my little lifestyle changes is see a balance in life. A few years ago I had CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - after suffering with depression on and off for a long time. I don't really talk too much about my recovery from it, but one of the key things that I got from CBT is that life is a balancing act and that not every aspect of it will always be positive, but it won't always be negative either. My therapist taught me to picture those old-fashioned scales with the weights on them and whenever I feel like the negative side is far heavier, I need to add some positive weight to it and balance things back out. Even 6 ish years on, that imagery still resonates with me and when I find myself scowling at the unhelpful expletive who let a door shut in mine and Toby's faces or the thoughtless person who lit up a cigarette right next to us, I move on and I remember the nice people. Because they are out there and to all of them - I thank you.
The first ridiculous assumption is clearly stupid because I have many amazing friends and we always have such lovely times meeting up over a meal, coffee, walk or glass of vino. The second is due to me spending too much time living alone and working an insane number of hours a week prior to meeting Phil, so never really turning my hand to cooking, In reality, I'm no Nigella but I'm not too bad and I have it on good authority (hubby) that I make a mean game pie and am a pretty good baker of cakes and cookies. Note to any PRs reading - I'm happy to prove that fact in return for BritMums Sponsorship or other great blog opportunities!
The third assumption essentially stems from too many drivers cutting me up on the road, too many people not thanking me for holding doors open for them and too many people watching me struggle to get Toby in his pram up and down steps. This includes the not-so-kindly Post Office clerk who wouldn't let me use the ramp because I'm not disabled, although that does bring me nicely to my first random act of kindness example. There was a storm raging outside and I'd already pulled an unsettled Toby in his pram up several steep concrete steps to get into the post office because nobody had answered the bell you have to ring to gain access via the ramp. When the clerk refused to let me go out via the ramp I was about to either shout or cry (or both) in frustration when, from the middle of the long queue a girl in her late teens deserted her bags, left the queue and helped me carry Toby safely down the steps. I could have hugged her! She thought nothing of it, but to a sleep-deprived new Mum with a poorly baby in horrid weather it felt better than winning the lottery.
A few weeks ago I bought Toby some shoes and a top in the Baba+Boo sale. If you follow me on Twitter you may notice me talking to and about them a lot because I adore their nappies and that has led to an adoration of their clothing too. Two days after receiving my order, I was having an awful day after receiving some really upsetting news about a friend but I had to go out and run some chores. With Toby in his Papoozle we went to the supermarket and got on with things and I only realised a good hour later that one of his gorgeous robot shoes was missing.
Well, you know what it's like when you're emotional anyway, I was gutted! Being a Twitter addict, I tweeted how upset I was at losing it and that was that. I'd asked all of the customer service places in the centre but to no avail and retracing my steps hadn't reunited us with the shoe so I went home. Imagine my joy when the next day a parcel arrived with a letter in it, as you can see in the photograph.
Well, just when I thought I couldn't love Baba+Boo more than I already did! We'd been chatting on Twitter and Facebook so they knew I'd had a tough day aside from the missing shoe and I was overwhelmed by their kindness.
As regular readers may know, we live in a small village with a very limited bus service and we've only got one car which Phil generally needs for his commute to work. My friends, however (those ones who clearly don't want to spend time with me) are so wonderful and a couple in particular (Yes you, Abby and Laura) always offer Toby and I lifts if we're going the same way, which is so sweet of them and really does ease the pressure of needing to catch a 09:30 bus when we don't need to be somewhere until midday! Likewise, sometimes a neighbour has seen me waiting for the bus and asked where we're going in case she can take us. It's something that can make life so much easier for us and I hope that they know just how much I appreciate them. Likewise, many friends from further afield make the effort to visit us because they know that I can't always get to them.
Back to those idiot strangers who aren't always quite that bad... A few weeks ago I was in Nottingham handing my notice in at work. Toby and I then went around and about before going to pick Phil up but just before he was due to finish work, Toby did an almighty dirty nappy and the only place nearby with changing facilities was a coffee shop. Only customers were allowed to use the facilities so I ordered Phil and I coffees to go and got Toby changed whilst they were being made. He was in his car seat because we'd been waiting in the car for Phil so with one hand carrying Toby and my heavy changing bag slung over my shoulder, I needed one of those cardboard cup holders in order to carry the drinks out. The lady who served me was the epitome of my stranger-hating presumptions and didn't offer me a cup holder, having already snarled at me for adding "Oh, can I also have it with skinny milk please" before she'd even taken payment. So where's the random act of kindness? I'll tell you! A young lad who was working there and looked to be in his early twenties had been smiling and waving at Toby so when the delightful lady handed me my drinks and I very politely requested a cup holder, he immediately came over, picked the drinks up and asked me where I was parked. He took the drinks out for me and even popped them into the car for me as I put Toby back in. How sweet is that?!
I think what I'm trying to do with my little lifestyle changes is see a balance in life. A few years ago I had CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - after suffering with depression on and off for a long time. I don't really talk too much about my recovery from it, but one of the key things that I got from CBT is that life is a balancing act and that not every aspect of it will always be positive, but it won't always be negative either. My therapist taught me to picture those old-fashioned scales with the weights on them and whenever I feel like the negative side is far heavier, I need to add some positive weight to it and balance things back out. Even 6 ish years on, that imagery still resonates with me and when I find myself scowling at the unhelpful expletive who let a door shut in mine and Toby's faces or the thoughtless person who lit up a cigarette right next to us, I move on and I remember the nice people. Because they are out there and to all of them - I thank you.
