It all happens so fast. One minute our little angels think we’re the bee’s knees. They cuddle us constantly and say they love us. Bliss.
The next they smell like sweaty socks and refuse to be seen in the street with us because apparently we’re not “cool”.
So one mum who is up to her limit with her moody adolescent has taken an unorthodox route to get a break from him.
She put him up for sale.
Although, when you read the ad description, something tells us you won’t be putting through a bid any time soon!
Mum Ella Jane Brookbank writes: “My moody adolescent comes complete with a Nike cap that he keeps on 'forgetting' to remove when he's in the house, a tin of Famous Henry's hair gel, a crap phone with a cracked front screen, three pairs of identical black skinny jeans (each with their own gaping hole), a green jacket that smells of cheese and trainers that have seen better days.
“He also has a vintage pull string (like Woody from Toy Story) on the back that moans, huffs and puffs and complains about anything from having to shower, having to clean his room, having to put the bins out and not being allowed to stay up late — because he's such a sloth-like mard arse every morning.”
And if you’re looking for a dapper selection of outfits you’re out of luck, because her 14-year old skateboarding aficionado has just one fail-safe ensemble.
“He is sold with only one complete outfit because he just doesn't agree with wearing anything else other than the torn and ripped skinny jeans and a green battered top from H&M (and the cap),” she writes.
“But he does come with gel for ever-changing hairstyles and two alternating skate boards.”
Ella’s teen model is clearly like all the others out there (made in the same factory?) because his traits are pretty much par for the teenage course.
“Qualities include door slamming, wearing battered looking trainers in the house, spending more time on his hair than his showers, mood swings, not having the energy to hoover his room but having the energy to skateboard,” she writes wryly.
“He is polite enough but be wary about taking him out in public — because although he is used to people, you never can tell whether he'll have a good enough social response to any situation — a soft grunt now covers most basic conversations — followed by the dreaded eye roll.
Serious enquiries only — no time wasters please.”
Bids start now!
