While many mums don’t like to think that their teenager is being sexually active, that doesn’t mean they aren’t getting up to anything – it is a normal part of growing up.
A time might come when they ask you if their boyfriend or girlfriend can stay over, or it may have already happened, but, whether you agree or not, it is important you handle the situation correctly.
Thank them for asking
The fact that they asked your permission is a sign of their maturity. So thank them for being open and honest with you. It is also a sign of respect towards you – they didn’t just assume it is ok.
Talk about safe sex
The fact that they asked if their boyfriend or girlfriend could stay over is a sign that they are probably already sexual active. If so, you will need to sit down and discuss contraceptive methods and practising safe sex. Whether or not you have had 'the talk’ with them, now is a chance to talk about it again.
If you say yes...
If you do agree that, yes, it is ok for them to stay over make sure you are introduced to your teenager’s boy/girlfriend prior to them staying the night, if you haven’t already met. The last place you want to be introduced to each other is over breakfast.
Talk to the other parents
While you might think it is ok for them to stay over doesn’t mean that your son or daughter’s boyfriend or girlfriend’s parents agree. Make sure they are aware of the situation and that you are on board with it, and make sure they are as well.
If you say no...
On the other hand, if you don’t like the idea of your adolescent getting up to stuff under your roof you need to explain why. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or if you simply think they are too young for something so serious you need to let them know. Explain your reasoning and your teenager is more likely to understand. If they don’t and kick up a fuss, well they obviously aren’t mature enough for a serious commitment in the first place.
