New mums often feel isolated and alone. That’s how Molly Jacobs James felt.
But one day, she had a chance encounter with another mum, Lisa D'Archangelo, whose child was five weeks old – the same age as Molly’s.
After a brief conversation, the two mums realised they had a lot in common. They’d both delivered at the same hospitals, had both had C-sections.
So they decided to get together for regular walks whilst they were on maternity leave.
But it wasn’t until their fourth month of walking together that they both realised they were suffering from peri-natal depression – the term used to describe both pre-natal and post-natal depression.
Molly, [pictured on the left below, had been stressed with work during her pregnancy, and the isolation post-baby made her feel completely alone.
“One day, on our walk, my friend asked me how I was doing. Desperate, I told her the truth. Months of despair and hopelessness poured out of my mouth as I told her how easy it would be just to end it all,” she said.
“I couldn’t connect with my baby at all, making it all feel like a terrible, terrible mistake that couldn’t be taken back. I felt relief when I daydreamed of how I could end this new hell called Parenthood by taking my own life.”
Relieved to get it off her chest, Molly was shocked, however, when her friend revealed she felt the exact same way.
“She spoke of how she felt guilty that it was supposed to be such a happy time, yet she was constantly plagued with anxiety and fear at the idea of being alone with her son,” she said.
“I can’t explain the rush of relief upon finding out that there was someone who understood what I was going through. Together we became each other’s lifeline.”
Molly and her friend Lisa both sought help, but as Molly said, she likely never would have if they’d never got talking.
“It wouldn’t have happened. I was too convinced that what I was experiencing was wrong,” she said.
“But having someone who understood made the world of difference. When my fatigued body would tell my brain to stay in bed and cancel the walk for that day, but I’d push myself out of the house. Once we had shed all barriers, we shared the most intimate details of feeling anxious or sad.”
“She called me when she felt she was unravelling. Other times, when I was coming undone, we spoke about my taboo thoughts of self-harm. Most importantly, those walks kept each of us going one foot in front of the other.”
“We were each other’s sounding board. To this day, I owe her my life.”
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