No matter how apprehensive our children may seem about parent/ teacher meetings, you can be pretty sure us mums feel a lot worse.

Whether it’s concern for your child’s progress, unease about their teacher’s approach or dislike for school settings in general, there’s no denying the parent/ teacher meeting can be pretty nerve-wracking.

No matter how much positive thinking we do in the lead-up to the event, expectation just never meets reality, does it?

Expectation: My child is a fair and confident leader in all situations.

Reality: My child has been caught encouraging others to fart on demand? No, seriously?

Expectation: My child is capable of completing assignments in the time allotted.

Reality: My child submitted his younger sister’s homework, didn’t realise and then suggested it might still do.

Expectation: My child’s manners are second to none.

Reality: My child was caught discussing Embarrassing Bodies over lunch. Who let him watch that? Note to self: acquire new babysitter.

Expectation: My child’s personal hygiene is a personal priority.

Reality: My child hasn’t brought his towel home to be washed since October and he scares the other children with it. How marvellous.

Expectation: My child’s moral compass is impeccable.

Reality: My child was caught cheating, didn’t pass and blamed the child he was sitting next to at the time.

Expectation: My child knows family matters are not to be discussed in school.

Reality: My child told the teacher he was late for school cos mum had the runs after a bad takeaway. Indisputable, but still.

Expectation: My child understands the concept of deadlines and responsibilities.

Reality: My child does not understand those concepts.

Expectation: My child shares his snacks, toys and games with the class.

Reality: My child shares his need to wee every ten minutes with the class.

Expectation: My child prides himself on his neat and tidy appearance.

Reality: My child prides himself on knowing all the words to some X-rated rap I’ve never heard of.

Expectation: My child exhibits normal behaviour, is progressing at a steady rate and is someone I should be very proud of.

Reality: My child exhibits normal behaviour, is  progressing at a steady rate and is someone I should be very proud of.

Phew!

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