Sitting down to help your child with their homework can be a wonderful way to bond with your son or daughter. It can also be a wonderful way to initiate a family row that will be spoken about for years to come. Remember that time mum questioned Einstein’s theory of relativity?
Whether you’ve tots that need help with the ABC’s or teens that require assistance with chemical elements, there’s no denying that attempting to lend a hand can result in frayed nerves, hurt feelings and lost tempers.
Here are just ten things that you will wonder when you help your child with their homework.
1. You wonder why they need to sharpen their pencil every two minutes.
How hard are they pressing on that paper?
2. You wonder how a child who remembers the promise of an ice cream three weeks after it was mentioned can forget their homework diary at least twice a week.
They’re definitely doing it on purpose.
3. You wonder how their teachers have so much patience.
I doff my cap to them.
4. You wonder where the pencil case you bought them at the start of the school year is.
Is that my contact lens pouch?
5. You wonder why the whine ‘But that’s not how the teacher does it!” winds you up so much.
Well, excuse me.
6. You wonder if the school will really be able to tell the difference between your handwriting and your five-year-old son’s scribble.
Here, give me that copy book.
7. You wonder if they’re deliberately taking their sweet time so that you’ll lose your patience and tell them to pack it in for the night.
They’re so close to the truth, but I will NOT crack first.
8. You wonder if you were as enthralled by the salt shaker when you did your homework as a child.
Must I place you in a windowless cell to get you complete your times-tables?
9. You wonder if your teen can sense your discomfort at the realisation they now know much, much more than you.
Theorems? Sure I remember them! Ahem.
10. You wonder where they get their brains from because it certainly wasn’t from you.
I mean, would you LOOK at that spelling test result! Mensa, here we come.