Whether it's about nappies or what TV programme to watch or more serious matters, fights with our partners can be both draining and devastating.
A recent study by psychologist Alex Huynh and others may be able to solve your latest relationship spat. By asking just one simple question, you and your partner can get back to happier times.
What is this love life miracle?? Well, we have you covered!
The Social Psychological and Personality Science-published study asked half of the participants to think about a recent clash in their relationship in terms of how they feel in the present. Mr. Hunyh and his team asked the other half to think of the conflict in the context of the future.
Those who Mr. Hunyh asked, "How will I feel in one year about this current conflict in my relationship?" tended to work towards deescalating the situation and think more logically than those he told to focus on the present.
The participants who thought about the future would also usually place less blame on their partner and opt for forgiveness more often.
Those who viewed the conflict in terms of their present emotions tended to think about their relationship more negatively than the other half.
Mr. Huynh observed how the future-focused participants showed more adaptive reasoning and gained more insight into why a quarrel emerged in the first place.
“When romantic partners argue over things like finances, jealousy, or other interpersonal issues, they tend to employ their current feelings as fuel for a heated argument,” Mr. Huynh noted.
He continued, “By envisioning their relationship in the future, people can shift the focus away from their current feelings and mitigate conflicts.”
It would seem that time really does heal all wounds, then!
Do you have any tricks you use to diffuse an argument? Let us know what tips you have to keep the boat from rocking!