My husband confessed he fancies another woman

My husband approached me last Sunday looking like guilt personified.

My heart lurched as he uttered the words that instil fear in the heart of any living human.

“We need to talk," he said.

To say my blood ran cold is an understatement.

Hearing these words come from the man who takes everything in his stride and regularly picks me up and dusts me down without so much as a backward glance before navigating the next obstacle I throw in front of him was horrifying.

“He’s finally had enough of my hysteria,” I thought to myself desperately as I moved slowly towards the kitchen chair he had pulled out for me.

With a greyish face, he played with a crayon propped which was against the fruit bowl before finally blurting: “I think I fancy a woman in work.”

In an instant, I went from inwardly hysterical to outwardly hysterical.

I took a deep breath and then I roared laughing.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

In shock, he gawped at me and hoarsely whispered: “I don’t think it’s anything. It’s just I find her attractive and I feel guilty about it.”

Momentarily assuming a serious face, I lasted approximately three seconds before bursting again.

“Why do you feel the need to tell me about this one?” I asked between guffaws.

He looked so taken aback at the question before saying: “Because this is the first time it’s happened.”

I stared at him.

“You’re joking, right? You haven’t had a crush on any other woman except me?”

I know this man well enough to be able to tell when he’s being honest.

He wasn’t lying – this was a first for him.

Placing my hand on his wrist, I told him it was perfectly OK to find someone at work attractive.

Stunned, he gawped at me again and forcefully disagreed.

“Celebrities, yes. Passing strangers, yes. But not someone who I spend time with. That’s not OK,” he insisted.

I asked if he had any inclination to act on it or whether he felt it would develop into anything other than a passing attraction.

Looking appalled, he said: “No! I just think she’s good looking and it made me uncomfortable and I wanted to say it. I shouldn’t have. It was selfish of me. I mean, what do I want you to say?”

Realising the conversation had taken a decidedly different path than initially anticipated, he paused before it finally dawned on him.

“You fancy other men all the time, don’t you?" he whispered incredulously.

I nodded solemly and confirmed:  “All the time”

“People I know?” he exploded.

“People you know,” I agreed. “The bloke from your garage who washes my car every fortnight. The man who helped you jumpstart the car that time. The guy who played in goal for your five-a-side team last year. The intern I did the presentation with last month.”

He stayed silent and then guffawed.

“And it means nothing,” I told him.

“Mine means nothing either.”

“Fancy her all you like,” I said. “Enjoy it. It’ll make the day pass quicker.”

It may not suit every couple, but having a passing crush on someone is nothing to worry about in my opinion.

I’m confident and secure in my marriage – I’m just sorry he’s had such long days in work until now.