The article is written by Julia Harris - The Calm Mum Coach
One of the main things that mums tell me is stopping them from feeling calm and like they are in control of their life is a lack of balance.
What does that even mean? The sense of balance is different for everyone and it changes at different times of our lives. But one of the most consistent things about balance is that most people in today’s busy world don’t feel like they have enough of it, especially mums.
However we can always start to make improvements to the balance in our life by making better choices.
So what are some of the choices that you can make today that can help you move towards a more balanced life?
1. Choose to be 100% engaged in whatever you are doing.
If you have to work late at the office one day to finish a report be fully engaged in writing that report, don’t feel guilty that you aren’t at home. Guilt is a wasted emotion. Focus totally on the task and you will be less distracted and produce a better report. Next time you take the kids to the park instead of being grumpy because you have so much housework to do, simply choose to enjoy the downtime and take it as a chance to refuel your energy levels.
2. Choose new traditions
We often have lots of traditions that are passed down by our families. Sometimes these are great and sometimes these just don’t serve us in today’s society. Make a choice about which ones you keep. Be mindful of the consequences of keeping them as well as the benefits. For those traditions that no longer serve you replace them with better traditions. It may be a tradition in your family to buy all nieces and nephews Christmas presents. But actually, even if you can afford to do that, it can be very time-consuming to choose and wrap gifts. You could suggest that the entire family create a new tradition. Maybe you could have a big family day out somewhere instead with the money that you saved. You never know others in the family may be relieved that you have changed this tradition.
3. Choose to be unavailable
Mums are often at the beck and call of the whole family and quite often children (and husbands) simply get into the habit of shouting “MUM!” the first time they can’t find their socks or they are stuck with homework. If you were unavailable though they would find socks somewhere or they’d ask Dad or wait for help with homework. You deserve downtime! Make a conscious decision to shut the bedroom door, or office door and be unavailable. Explain why it’s important to have that time. Maybe you need to be 100% focused on something or maybe you just need time to do some meditation. Whatever it is, don’t feel guilty. Just explain what you need and then do it even if they complain. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep trying! Put a “Do Not Disturb” note on the door or if you’re feeling really, really frazzled and at the end of your tether, simply lock yourself in the bathroom with a pair of headphones and some calming music and sit and do some deep breathing until you are ready to face the chaos again.
These are all small steps but they are small steps in the right direction and will make a difference if you keep building on them. Leave me a comment and let me know what choice you are going to make to improve your work life balance.
Julia Harris is The Calm Mum Coach. She is a mentor, speaker and author of popular ebook “stressed to refreshed” She guides working mums all over the globe from stressed and shouty to calm, confident and back in control. They stop feeling guilty and start living a life they love.
She is on a mission to persuade manic mums to become mellow mums by making time to take the spotlight off plate spinning and put it on self care.
Find Julia on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/JuliaHarrisCoaching and download a free copy of her free short ebook “Stressed to Refreshed: 7 Secrets for stressed and shouty working mums by visiting http://calmmumsecrets.com/
