One of the first things mums-to-be are ominously told by sage friends who already have kids is that they better sleep their brains out while they have the chance, because once baby comes along they will NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.
And it’s not as if they can console themselves that their friends might be over-dramatic; the bags under their eyes and the haunted look in their eyes is proof they’re speaking the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
BUT, and it’s a big but, what we do assume is that as soon as our kids become a little older we’ll go back to our regular sleep patterns. Nope. Doesn’t happen.
So we got thinking about why. Why do we mums not get to sleep anymore?
Here’s what we came up with:
1. Making costumes
Apparently as soon as we have kids we have to add theatrical prop makers to our repertoire! Often at Christmastime you’ll find us burning the midnight oil sewing wings onto a fairy costume or restyling our tea towel collection into a headpiece Joseph himself would be proud of.
2. Worrying
We’re not sure this requires much explanation! We’re mums, we worry. It’s our thing. So no matter how old our children get we’ll often stay awake worrying about them – how they’re doing in school, if they’ll get that course in college, if we’re trying to wean them too soon.
3. Feeding
When we know we have to get up soon, it can be so hard to sleep. So instead of attempting to grab those precious hours before baby wants a feed we find ourselves overtired but unable to drop off. We’ve never understood the term ‘overtired’ – so you’re telling us we’re TOO TIRED to sleep?
4. We drank too much caffeine
Because we’re tired during the day, and are trying to get a million and one things done, we over indulge on the coffee or tea for an energy boost. Great at 5pm when we’re getting things done, not so great at 10pm when we’re desperately trying to nod off.
5. We’re planning
Okay, we made that sound far more ominous than we meant to! No, we’re not quite up late planning revenge – we mean we’re planning mum stuff: the family holiday, the dinners for the week, the childcare. It’s amazing the amount of organising you can do when you should really be asleep.
6. We’re administering TLC
Yep, if our kids are unwell, we’re up, in and out of their bedrooms and administering love, cuddles and medicine, in whatever order they’re required.
7. We’re cleaning
Or doing laundry. Sure why on earth would we sleep when there’s an eye-wateringly large pile of laundry and sticky floors with our names on it? Sigh.
8. Because toddlers
Yep, toddlers just HATE their mums sleeping. They can’t stand it in fact. This is demonstrated perfectly when they take a running jump into our bedrooms at 5am and bodyslam themselves on the bed with a cheeky smile and a “Mum, can I please have toast?”
9. New mum fear
We’ve taken this tiny thing home with us and the sense of worry and responsibility can be off the scale. So instead of sleeping we’re pricking our ears all night to make sure they’re still breathing.
10. We’re talking to our partners
Our days are filled with work, chores, errands, kids. Sometimes bedtime is the only time we can properly talk to our partner without (much) interruption.
