Back to work after maternity leave (second time around)

 

So it's happened. The dreaded return to work has come and gone.

 

After the first hour of the first day it was like the previous nine months off never even happened, apart from the gentle reminders when people asked: "Are you back already? That flew!". And it did.

 

I was back into the swing of work life within an hour, albeit tired and red-eyed from being up washing duvets and dealing with a vomiting two-year-old the night before… It's Sod's law!

 

This time round I got over the anxiety I had leaving Amelia fairly quickly. Dropping them both off at nursery for 7:45am was a challenge, but I did it.

 

I took two breaths, one the relief that (to be very honest) they were not my responsibility for a whole 13 hours and one to brace myself before going through the hospital doors.

 

Of course I had that unmistakable guilt that I was leaving my kids with someone else. Someone else was going to be rewarded with a smile, a kiss or a hug; maybe I was going to miss a milestone such as crawling or waving.

 

Someone else was providing them with love, attention, food and warmth - things as a parent you feel you should be doing!

 

I'm tired. It's hard. And it's not called 'work' for nothing; I earned every single penny I get, but I'm delighted to be back.

 

Having conversations that do not revolve around children is refreshing.

 

Speaking to adults, be it patients or colleagues is interesting.

 

I'm interested in THEIR conversation, about THEIR lives. The boyfriend drama, husband drama, nights out and work issues - I want it all! 

 

Meeting new work colleagues, using my brain and being back under pressure to make decisions that isn't about what meal should I cook this week has been brilliant (although I love this too).

 

I really don't mind being back and I have found a lovely balance of working two days a week, meaning I still get to spend most of my time with the kids.

 

When it comes to going back to work, so many people have conflicting emotions: guilt, fear, worry, anxiety and, for some, happiness. 

 

Many mums have to return to work before their babies are one - this was probably the hardest part for me. I didn't return to work until Amelia was 20 months, so leaving Harry at eight months did fill me with guilt that I was practically leaving a newborn.

 

So I think second time round I have learnt a little more about how to deal with the emotions of returning to work.

 

To the mums who do stay at home full-time, I salute you. Because it is without doubt the hardest job of them all, you are on-call 24/7, there are no breaks and the coffee is always lukewarm. 

 

For those returning back to work soon, try not to dwell on it too much, enjoy the time you have now - don't spoil your remaining time off by thinking about work too much.

 

You will be surprised once you go back how much you enjoy it, and life will just fall into place around you and returning to work.

 

Keep your chin up! 

 

Triona is an emergency nurse and mum to Amelia Rose, born in 2013, and Harry who arrived in April 2015.  She blogs at A Little Londoner, a UK and Irish family and lifestyle blog, where she documents her adventures in family lfe.