I was definitely the mum that other mums love to hate

A mother from Alabama hit the headlines this week after she named and shamed her daughters on Facebook for deplorable public conduct and I’ve to be honest here, her story didn’t have the desired effect on me.

Imploring the woman offended by her daughter’s actions to come forward so that she could attempt to remedy the situation, Kyesha Smith Wood certainly showed us how to parent, and how to parent right.

But while most people found themselves buoyed by the heartwarming story, I found myself hanging my head in shame and curling my toes in mortification.

Kyesha’s bravery and determination brought home to me how often I used fall short on this front. While it’s something I’ve definitely worked on, it's not something that came easy.

In fact, for the first three years of my daughter Ella’s life I was inclined to see the best in my child.

And I don’t mean in the standard ‘my child is the light of my life’ kind of way, I mean in the ‘every other person is in the wrong when it comes to my daughter’ kind of way.

Believe me, admitting that wasn’t easy, but it’s the first step on the recovery, right?

My inclination to side with my child regardless of the circumstance was brought to my attention by my partner who felt something had to be done about me and my blatant favouritism.

He was mortified by me apparently.

The idea I would soon become the most detested mum in the nursery playground forced him to sit me down and give me a blow-by-blow account of where I was going wrong, and believe me, I needed it.

Our meeting at the kitchen table taught me a whole host of wonderful things.

According to her dad, when Ella isn’t sharing her toys with other children, it’s no one’s fault but Ella’s. When Ella doesn’t properly respond to her grandmother’s questions, it’s not because Nana’s voice is ‘too low.’ And most importantly (apparently), when Ella blatantly refuses to obey her dad, it’s not because she didn’t hear him.

Before I had children, I used find myself baffled by the type of mother I soon became.

Why couldn’t they see their child’s shortcomings?

Why were they so disinclined to call a spade a spade?

And why do they feel that the world revolves around their offspring?

They always say it’s different when you become a mum yourself and nowhere was this more evident than my attitude towards my daughter’s behaviour.

I knew I had made progress when I watched another parent chastise my little girl for refusing to share her toys and didn’t feel fury or indignation.

I felt mortification for my child’s behaviour and gratitude that I had surrounded myself with parents whom I could learn from.