Letting my daughter down was never going to be an isolated event

As parents, we make judgement calls every single day.

Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong and sometimes we get it very wrong.

Obviously none of us set out to screw up, but having recently reflected on one of my more ill-advised parenting choices, I do sometimes wonder.

Upon being told by Grace that she felt unwell the night before her class were due to change seating groups, I felt the natural cynic in me rear its ugly head.

My daughter doesn’t respond well to change and upheaval, so I knew the thought of being seated in a different area of the classroom with a less familiar group of children would cause her concern and perhaps manifest in a tummy ache or ‘stingy’ throat.

I often wished her teacher wouldn’t announce the intended change ahead of time because it caused at least two days of heartache in our house as Grace quietly fretted over the move and began listing various ailments with which she was now afflicted.

So on Monday night when Grace came to me rubbing her tummy and complaining of feeling unwell, I quickly distracted her and tucked her up in bed with the promise of a fun evening the following day.

At breakfast when she suggested she might need the day off because she still didn’t ‘feel right’, I told her that she would feel better in no time.

While she admittedly did look peaky, I put it down to nerves about the day’s events and assumed once the big move had taken place, she’d settle down.

Promising my little girl I’d let her teacher know she wasn’t feeling the best seemed to placate her somewhat, but still she insisted she’d be better staying at home.

Refusing to give Grace an easy way out and hoping she’d face her fears, I had a word with the headteacher at the school gates and yet Grace still cut a forlorn figure as she moped towards her waiting class at the doors of the school.

Feeling I had done the best thing for my child, I was sick to my stomach when I got a phone call a few hours later and learned that Grace had a roaring temperature and had vomited across the school’s nature table.

She had genuinely been unwell and instead of properly listening to my daughter’s needs, I based my decision on past experience instead of focussing on the current issue.

Had I given her the benefit of the doubt, I would have saved her distress and embarrassment, but like I said, I truly thought I had done the right thing this time.

I thought by making Grace face her fears instead of keeping her off school for the day, she would overcome her worry about small changes and learn that nothing is ever going to be as bad as it seems when it comes to the classroom.

Instead I sent the child to school and patted myself on the back for my no-nonsense parenting approach and impeccable 'mum radar'.

I felt incredibly guilty as I left work to collect her a mere two hours after I deposited her in the school playground, but thankfully she hasn’t held it against me.

Children are a lot more forgiving than adults which bodes well for me because I’m sure there are plenty more mistakes to come.