My son became the child I feared

I caught Joshua bullying a child in our estate on Saturday and suffice to say, I’m devastated.

I’m horrified that my son dared treat another child in such a heartless manner and I’m heartbroken for the little boy who suffered at the hands of my own child that afternoon.

What I encountered wasn’t playful jeering or a verbal spat between two children equally matched in both size and intellect.

No, I came across my son purposely excluding a neighbour’s son from a game he was playing with three other children.

Initially unsure as to what I was exactly witnessing, I didn’t intervene and held my breath in the hopes my son would rectify the situation.

I am no alarmist and I know only too well how children operate so I didn’t jump the gun and weigh in before I felt it was necessary.

When my son interrupted the game to order the other child to leave them alone and go home, I felt my blood boil and watched in horror as the child took a step back at my son’s insistence.

Making my way towards the small group, I was actually stunned to realise my legs almost felt weak with upset.

I had brought Joshua up to consider other people’s feelings and up until that moment, I had assumed five years worth of guidance in this regard had had an impact.

I crouched in front of my son who, until he saw my face, hadn’t realised I had been in the vicinity, but he showed no concern.

My voice almost hoarse with anger, I whispered: “I’m disgusted with you” and quickly pulled him to his feet.

Asking him who gave him the right to send Adam home and exclude him from the game, Joshua quickly realised the severity of the situation.

Having consoled Joshua’s older sister through a period of bullying, I was heartsick to think my child would be capable of the same behaviour as the girls who had targeted Grace.

I spent much of that bleak time blaming their parents and now here I was, the mother of a bully.

You may think I’m overreacting and subscribe to the school of thought which says ‘kids will be kids’, but that doesn’t sit well with me.

Yes, kids will be kids, but when one child is bearing the brunt of another child’s behaviour, that’s bullying.

Taking Joshua by the hand, I caught up with Adam and asked if we could possibly have a word with his mum.

Looking like he thought he was in trouble, I quickly reassured him that Joshua was the only one who need worry in that regard and we silently made our way to Adam’s house, a mere three doors from mine.

Explaining the situation to Adam’s mum, I learned that this was not the first time Joshua had excluded her son nor was it the first time Adam had returned home at the behest of my child.

All credit to my neighbour, she was gracious, accepted my son’s apology and even went as far to suggest a playdate for Joshua and Adam so they may get to know each other on Adam’s terms.

Joshua’s playdate will remind me that sometimes, no matter how hard I might guide and encourage, my child will be his own person and I may not like that person very much.