Parenthood: This really is the time of our lives

 

Every night my husband says without fail:"We are so lucky", referring to our two healthy, happy and half-the-time-crazy children. I mumble, "I know..."

 

But sometimes, I really do need that gentle reminder. The life of an honest mum is not always fun. I feel like ometimes all I do is give out to my kids, give out about them and wish for bedtime to arrive willingly. I know I write a lot about the hard times here, but there are plenty of really lovely moments too!

 

Pre-babies and generally right after we got married, we were told by so many people to "enjoy this time alone before kids come along" because your "life will be over when kids come a long" and to "enjoy your freedom now". 

 

And yes it did, life has been one fast-paced whirlwind for almost the last three years, more than I ever imagined.

 

 

I can't remember a time that I haven't felt tired, but I wanted this. My ambition once I had finished my nurse training wasn't to climb up the career ladder as quickly as I could. I wanted two things: get married and have a baby. Many of you may be rolling your eyes, but that's what I wanted!

 

I've always been maternal and couldn't imagine my life without children. Life has changed beyond recognition, and while most of my posts are about the truth of how hard parenting is, I really wouldn't want it any other way. 

 

When my husband reminds me about how lucky we are, he often says on the particularly hard days: "Wouldn't it be worse if we were still trying for a baby, 4.5 years after getting married?". And he's right. I can't imagine how hard it is for people who would love to go to bed every night hoping that one day they too could complain about having a rough nights sleep with a teething baby or a challenging day with a toddler.

 

Did I give up my freedom? Yes, to an extent I did. I swapped nights out for 2am bottle feeds, left a life full of opportunities in London so that my kids can grow up near family and sleep ins are a thing of the past. I never go to sleep with ease, as I don't know when I will be woken up  by a crying baby. I've aged rapidly in three years, and I constantly live in fear of running out of milk and nappies. I forgo showers and even brushing my teeth some mornings, because the baby won't stop crying. 

 

But what is freedom to one person is hell to another. I'm sure the person who has been trying for a baby for years, trying fertility treatments, having multiple miscarriages and just failing to get pregnant would see me as having all the freedom in the world. 

 

 

So you see this is my freedom. We are living in the time of our lives. We will never be this young again, nor will our kids. We will never be needed as much as we do now. The sleepless nights may continue into the teenage years for different reasons. Life is full. Full of the unknown, full milestones that happen out of nowhere - like crawling, saying a first word, a new word or putting sentences together - it's because of us. Life will never be so rewarding.

 

Parenthood may be a little different to how I imagined it. It's certainly much harder. But if freedom means not having snuggly baby cuddles, being told "I wuv you mummy", someone smiling at me when I walk through the door, sloppy kisses, sweet milky breath on my face and having a boogie in the kitchen every morning, then I'm happy to have given up that freedom. 

 

We are far from perfect, who is? But we are happy.

 

We are living the time of our lives right now and we need to live in the moment. And just sometimes I, and I'm sure many of you, need a little reminding. 

 

Triona is an emergency nurse and mum to Amelia Rose, born in 2013, and Harry who arrived in April 2015.  She blogs at A Little Londoner, a UK and Irish family and lifestyle blog, where she documents her adventures in family lfe.