The innumerable perks of old married sex

While myself and my husband of sixteen years have yet to reach a stage where we designate one evening a month to sex, it’s fairly safe to say that we’re not quite as amorous as we were when we met in our twenties.

And I’m going to be honest here, I prefer it.

Don’t get me wrong, I fancy my husband every bit as much as I did when I met him 21 years ago, but sex round the clock can be exhausting.

Actually, correction: preparation for sex around the clock is what can be exhausting.

I remember getting to a stage in our relationship where I resented having to be shaved, plucked and moisturised within an inch of my life. Dates and sex almost became a chore because I felt I had to look inch-perfect at all times.

Oh and let me be clear here, no one was putting any pressure on me in this regard other than myself, but still, I knew it had to stop.

So what did I do?

I stopped. Bravo.

Turning up for three consecutive dates with stubbly underarms, mismatched underwear and fuzzy shins did absolutely nothing to dim our ardour, and frankly. it was a revelation.
 
I was inexplicably more relaxed although I knew I didn’t look my best, he was more relaxed because I was and they were definitely nights to remember.

Old married sex is like a lifetime of those nights.

We mightn’t have had sex in a fortnight, I could be in his old dressing gown with my hair in a topknot and he could be in his very questionable Barack Obama t-shirt and still, it’s wonderful.

I’ve seen him at this worst and God knows he’s seen me at my mine, but I think that’s what keeps the spark alive.

Sex at the beginning, while we may think it’s passionate, is also very polite.

It’s about good underwear, holding your respective stomachs in and ignoring each other’s morning breath.

I have found our passion comes from knowing we’ve struggled and overcome obstacles as team, raised a family together, stretched ourselves thin for our relatives and friends, but then when it comes down to it, it’s just him and I again.

I'd take a night with that man over his 25-year-old former self any time.