Why 'broken record' is the best way to describe me as a mother

Sometime it feels like I could gently lower the needle on a broken record, raise the volume so that the sound pervades the entire house and slip furtively from my home without any of my family members even noticing.

Until they need clean underwear, that is.

Being a mum can be a repetitive process and you often find yourself repeating the same phrases, orders and rebukes until the words lose all meaning and your soul slowly withers and dies.

Having reached the end of my tether last weekend, I decided to make a conscious effort to calculate how often I use the same phrases when dealing with my eldest child, 16-year-old Christopher.

Having paid very close attention to every exchange I entered into with my son, I quickly realised our conversations are less about exchanging thoughts, ideas and news, and more to do with fending off each other's supposed recriminations.

Here are ten exchanges I had with my son more than THREE times each on Monday.

1. “In the drawer, Chris. THE DRAWER!”

“Mum, I left a fork in the sink, not a dead body. Jeez.”



2. “Don't hit him again!”

“He likes it. You like it, don't you?”



3. “Turn it down, Chris.”

“It IS down.”



4. “How would I know where you put YOUR wallet?”

“You never help!”



5. “What do you need ANOTHER tenner for?”

“Jeez, it's only a tenner. Why do you always have to ask?”



6.”What time will you be back?”

“I'M SIXTEEN!”



7. “Have you cleaned your room yet?”

“I'll do it in a minute.”



8. “Ask your dad.”

“He said to ask you.”



9. “Give me your washing NOW if you want it done this week.”

“Naaaaah, it's fine.”



10. “What's that smell, Chris.”

“Me. Like it?”