Why I will never apologise for swearing in front of my children

Some women make innumerable promises to themselves before they become a mother.

They tell themselves they'll never raise their voice - They just won't be that kind of mum, that's all.

They tell themselves they'll avoid processed foods at all costs - There will always be time for good, healthy cooking, you just have to make it.

They tell themselves they'll maintain a healthy work / life balance - It just takes a little organisation, that's all.

As we all know, very few mums manage to keep these promises to themselves, and before their child has reached their first birthday, there's been a raised voice, a sneaky packet of sweets and a meltdown over how to juggle it all.

I'll be honest, I was one of those mums-to-be.

I had grand notions and I genunely believed I'd be able to keep those promises, but unsurprisingly I fell at the first hurdle.

My mother has councelled me through many perceived failings over the course of the last eight years, but a recent admission made me realise she thinks I'm focussing on the wrong issue.

She has insisted that breaking these promises to myself time and time again did not make me a bad mother, but swearing in front of my children did.

I looked at her askance: "What?"

"You tie yourself in knots over the smallest things, but you don't seem to mind when you - what is it they say these days - 'drop the F-bomb'", she muttered.

"I rarely swear in front of the kids Mum, but when I do I'm at the very end of my tether," I protested.

"It doesn't matter how close you to the edge, no child should hear their mother swearing," she mumbled, not meeting my eye.

"You're making me sound like Gordon Ramsey," I stammered as I frantically cast my mind back to the last time the kids had heard me swear.

I admit it, I do swear

I swear when some idiot almost rear ends my car when I'm travelling on a main road with my children in the backseat.

I swear when I burn myself with a scalding pot of water while making the childrens' dinner.

I swear when I'm forget about trying to be the perfect parent and need a quick outlet for my fright or frustration.

My children don't swear, and they know Mummy only "says curse words" when she's scared or worried, and they know it's only acceptable under very, very special conditions.

If swearing when I think my children's lives are in danger or when boiling water makes contact with my bare skin makes me a bad mother, then I may as well give up now.

Because unless the rest of our family life runs on rails, my children are likely to hear another few curse words over the course of their childhood, and my own mum is going to have to learn to live with it.