A ‘normal’ dad has garnered a massive online following thanks to the conversations he shares between him and his kids.
James Breakwell’s girls are six, four, two, and 10 months old, and they provide him with a never-ending flow of comedy gold for his Twitter account XplodingUnicorn.
And we’re not surprised – children are basically comedy geniuses in their own right.
“My kids love when I tweet about them, but I’m sure that will change as they get older,” James told City Express. “Right now, they get jealous if I leave them out. I read my jokes to them when they ask, but the humour often goes over their heads. That’s not hard when the biggest one is only about 4 feet tall.”
Oh yes, and perhaps we should mention he’s a purveyor of eye-rolling dad jokes too!
Me: Pick up your toys
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 11 September 2016
6-year-old: *picks up a toy and sets it back down*
Me: I meant pick it up and put it away
6: I'm not a mind reader.
Me: Why are you pouting?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 9 September 2016
4-year-old: Everything that's fun gets me in trouble.
She's finally an adult.
4-year-old: Boys get married because they fall in love.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 8 September 2016
Me: Why do girls get married?
4: They like cake.
6-year-old: What's a nice way to tell someone their breath stinks?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 7 September 2016
Me: Offer them some gum.
6: Dad, do you want some gum?
4-year-old: How come your shoes never sparkle?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 6 September 2016
Me: Grown-ups don't wear sparkly shoes.
4: I don't want to grow up.
6-year-old: If Princess Leia is a princess, where is her castle?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 5 September 2016
Me: Darth Vader blew it up.
6: I'm glad he's dead.
4-year-old: I was a good girl at preschool.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 2 September 2016
Me: You should be a good girl at home, too.
4: I can't do it all day.
Me: Why do you always watch “Frozen?” Elsa always wins.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 18 September 2016
6-year-old: You watch football. Your team always loses.
Touché.
You can read more about James's parenting fails and cute conversations on his Twitter page.
