These days, people talk about things much more than they used to, and that's great for people struggling to conceive.
Thanks to the net, we've seen more and more women open up about their struggles to conceive or their grief following a miscarriage.
But we don’t often hear these stories from the perspective of a man.
That’s why it was so refreshing to read Dan Majesky’s Facebook post telling the story of what he and wife Leah have endured to get pregnant.
He opens with “Do you have a minute? I’ve got kind of a long story.”
He’s right, too, as his post clocks in at over 3,000 words. However, it’s so touching that you won’t be able to tear yourself away from it.
The couple did everything they could to help things along.
“We’re in our 30s. Things are probably a little bit dusty, and a little bit rusty. So three years ago, we started using apps and calendars to track this and that,” he wrote.
“Ovulation test sticks. Old wives’ tales of positions and timing. We got some late periods. And some periods that never came! But we didn’t get pregnant.”
Despite feeling utterly useless, Dan did whatever he could to keep his wife’s spirits up.
“My job was to try and not say anything dumb, because she also needed to be calm,” he wrote. “I tried to avoid triggering phrases like ‘hey’ or ‘good morning’ or ‘I love you’ but I kept fucking up, and opening my mouth, or allowing Leah to see TV programs, or commercials, to read books, and interact with the world in any way.”
After they were sent off for “his and hers” appointments, they were frustrated when doctors said they couldn’t find any concrete reason for their struggles.
So Leah started hormone therapy. Dan admits he struggles with the indignities of his end of the deal.
“We all know that this is all very silly, and that I just touched my penis, and you are someone’s grandmother, and that even though you have a pin in the shape of a little sperm to help break the tension, we all – if we really had the choice – would probably prefer to burst into flames than discuss any part of this.”
But still, nothing happened, and it killed them – especially when babies seemed to just happen to everyone around them.
“So you wait, and it’s negative, but you hope, and you see your friends getting pregnant, and you get a little sad,” she wrote.
“But you get mad at yourself because you want to feel happy for other people, and that’s not fair to them. And then the 17-year-old across the street gets pregnant, and you get a little sadder. And your cousins get pregnant, and you get a little sadder.”
Eventually, the pair did become pregnant. Sadly however, they lost the baby shortly after. Worst of all, says Dan, is the knowledge that nobody can really understand your grief.
“When a family member dies, you can share your grief. With a miscarriage, you would have to tell people that someone who will never be born, who they had never heard of and will never meet, but who meant the world to you, is gone.”
“And you don’t have the strength to get into it. You tell your parents, maybe a close friend, maybe your boss.”
Only when Leah went in for a D&C to have the baby removed from her womb did Dan let himself break down, “alone with my worst thoughts.”
But the post has a happy ending. After a missed period, Leah went to take a pregnancy test. Unable to look at it, she asked Dan to do the honours. He looked and told her it was negative.
As she stood there crying, Dan googled ‘pregnancy test faint line.’ As it turns out, “even the faintest f**king line in the whole f**king world means you’re pregnant. So we’re pregnant.”
As if he can’t fully believe it, he repeats himself. “We’re pregnant," he writes, before revealing that the couple are expecting a baby girl in November.
Anybody else on the verge of tears? Dan hopes that his touching post helps other couples going through the same rollercoaster ride.
“I hope that maybe this helps someone to feel less alone,” he wrote.
Wow. What a beautiful end to a heartbreaking story. You can read Dan’s amazing post in full below, but have the tissues at the ready!
