How your older child adapts to having a new baby around will depend largely on his or her personality. Easy going children are likely to adjust to the change far quicker than those who are highly strung or very sensitive.
You may find that your child regresses into ‘babyish’ behaviour, particularly when you are breastfeeding your child or changing his or her nappy. You may also find that your child starts waking at night, being overly clingy or even becoming aggressive.
The best way to help your one year old to deal with the change is to get him or her involved. Allow your child to help out by fetching nappies or passing you toys or other items when you bath your baby. Let your older child entertain your baby by pulling faces or seat your child next to you and allow him or her to hold the baby for a few minutes. Be careful, however, as children this age don’t understand that your new baby is not a toy.
You also need to acknowledge that your child is not happy if that is the case. Trying to ignore his or her feelings won’t go away, so speak to your child about them. Suggest a story or some other form of one-on-one closeness when you notice your child looking sad or angry. In fact, whether you notice it or not, you should be making time to spend one-on-one with your older child, to remind him or her that you still love them and that they are special. Play games together, go for walks or read stories.
Finally, don’t force the issue. While some children act out and some become sad or angry, many choose to cope by simply ignoring their new sibling. If that’s the case with your child, then you should respect that too and simply let your older child carry on with his or her life.
