It’s amazing the difference that a few days can make. Even while you’re pregnant, you’re still not really a mum and it’s only when your baby arrives that you truly realise just how different life as a mum is. Of course, you don’t want to abandon your old, childless friends, but they also don’t understand breast pain, colic, teething and other baby related dilemmas. It’s time to make a few friends who are sharing the changes in your life. You need to find friends who are also mums!
The first step is to make yourself available to other mums. If you’re not leaving the house, then that’s not likely to happen. Try joining mummy and me yoga classes or spending time at the playground or the library during story hour. Even your visits to the doctor or the clinic can be a great place to meet other mums with babies of the same or a similar age, who are sharing your journey.
The next step is breaking the ice. If you meet in adjacent beds in the hospital, then it’s easy to make small talk. However, if you find your potential mum friend elsewhere, you might want to have a few opening lines ready. Ask whether this is her first child, or how old he or she is. It’s the perfect way to start a conversation naturally and easily, and also gives the other mum the opportunity to back away if she prefers. Don’t take it personally though – she might just be busy or preoccupied.
If you do find someone who you do have a nice chat with, and you’d like to keep in touch, say so! It can seem weird to give someone you’ve just met your phone number but it can help to cement the fledgling friendship that you’ve struck up. If you met at a regular event, like a class, then ask her if she’d like to go for coffee after your next meeting. Or, arrange a play date. Believe it or not, there are plenty of mums just like you who are looking for friends that understand being a mum, and they’re probably just waiting for someone like you to take the first step towards friendship.