The dreaded question of "Am I too fat?" can leave many lost for words, and it's fair enough: it's not an easy question to answer, even amongst adults.
Fears that focusing attention on a child's size might make them overly self-conscious, cause them to obsess about their appearance, or even lead to an eating disorder may cause parents to shy away from the topic.
While there's no 'right' way to do it, these tips should help you along...
Talk about it
If you're worried about your child's weight, or their weight worries, talk to them about it. If you let issues fester, they'll only get worse.
State the obvious
It might be pretty clear to you, but children often struggle to believe that the changes they're going through are normal and healthy.
Tell your child that it's normal and healthy to gain weight as puberty kicks in.
And if they're upset because they don't have breasts by 14 or hair on their chests by 16, tell them not to worry.
We all develop at different speeds and we all come in different shapes and sizes.
Don't overreact
If your child asks you 'am I too fat/skinny/lanky?', don't be alarmed - or at least don't show it.
When kids think they're making you uncomfortable, they get uncomfortable too, and may never want to talk to you about the issue again.
Be prepared
So what do you say when your child says 'am I fat?'
Well, if they are overweight, don't just ignore the issue because you're uncomfortable. Instead, focus on two things: 1) inner beauty, and 2) health.
Begin by telling your child that it's what's on the inside that counts - that we should judge people on their character, not what they look like. After that, ask them if they think they've gained weight recently; say 'if you've gained weight, then let's see what we can do about it.'
Tell them that it's good they're keen to be a healthy weight, because being over'/underweight can cause plenty of nasty health conditions (e.g. diabetes, heart disease).
Suggest you help them out. Maybe the whole family could start eating fresh foods more, or exercise together at the weekends.
Basically, there's no 'right' answer. Whatever you say, don't focus on looks. We're more than our appearance, and kids need to learn this.
Learn together
Get googling together; seek out simple recipes for healthy, tasty dinners you could make as a family. Find out about snacks that could replace that mid-afternoon chocolate bar (e.g. a handful of raisins and nuts, banana and yoghurt).
Set the nutritional agenda
While kids learn about healthy eating at school, their diet and lifestyle is largely affected by home life.
Cook healthy dinners from scratch, instead of buying sugar-laden processed meals you simply stick in the microwave. Limit takeaways so that they're a treat, not the norm.
Let your child see you exercising. Get the whole family out walking, cycling or playing football. What better way to teach your child to lead a healthy lifestyle?
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