With many of us basing our parenting style on our own parents, it’s not surprising that many couples will often end up arguing about how they should discipline their own kids.
And while there is no sure fire way to completely stop the arguments nor is there a need for you to go against your own beliefs, there are plenty of ways you can come together to make it work, especially in front of the kids.
1. Agree to never undermine the other parent
It is important you have a show of unity when discipling your child, and it is vital that you never undermine each other – your child WILL feed off this. If one parent hands down a a punishment it is important you both stand behind it; if Dad says one thing and Mum another, things will get heated very quickly - agree for now and then discuss it later.
2. Always back each other up
To reiterate the point above, you should always back each other up; Whether you agree with their harsh punishment or think they are being too lenient, it is important you back each other up. Obviously, if there is abuse or your child is in danger you should put your foot down, but you should always try to have each other's back. Again, when you are away from your child you can discuss how you would have liked to have handled the situation and why.
3. Never discuss your parenting differences in front of your child
It will be very easy for them to figure out who the good cop is and who isn't, and they'll be quick to play you off one another - don't let that happen because it can be a tricky thing to come back from.
4. See things from the other person’s point of view
Try to understand or at least see things from each other’s point of view rather than berate one another for having a different opinion. You never know, you may actually start to see things in a different light.
5. Ask yourself: Is it really worth the fight?
Disagreeing on what your child is allowed to wear, how long their curfew should be or even if they can have a sleepover, are small in comparison to the major things you could be disagreeing on – religion, schools etc. So, before you pick a battle, ask yourself if it’s really worth it, and let things of insignificance go.
